“You win some, you lose some” – Talitha Stoffer (among others)
I’ve been brewing on this, “You win some, you lose some” idea because recently I had a friend throw it out to me, and I just kind of shrugged it off as a lame answer, a cliché.
I ask a genuine question and you blow me off like I’m a 3 year old kid asking “why?” for the 17th time in a row?
I was irritated. Until it sat there and grew on me like a fungus.
“You win some/You lose some” changed my entire outlook on parenting.
When these olden days oft-repeated clichés and their modern counterpart “memes” hit you and are applied in a different perspective than you were expecting – they blow your mind! They aren’t simply some little head nod of agreement but an – “ahhhhh, I just won a set… in life.” experiences. These ideas MADE facebook and Insta what it is today.
“They wouldn’t be cliche’s if there wasn’t some truth to it.” – everyone’s Grandma.
So Here’s how my awakening went down…
Years ago, when we were looking for a pediatrician, we had to search a few different clinics to find a doc that would satisfy what we were looking for as far as our personal beliefs and lifestyle. For our babies, even things such as vaccinations are a big game-changer for who we use as doctors. Our family is not “anti-vax” however we simply wanted to spread out our vaccinations over the course of time a little to hopefully have a smaller impact on our growing one’s immune system. No big deal, we weren’t looking to not vaccinate – we were just looking to spread out our timetable a bit.
Many of the doctors wouldn’t or were not open to any changes to their standard of practice. Many of them just thought we were far-out hippie/granola chiropractors that scoffed at conventional medicine and were endangering our children and basically ran us out. At the time, I thought it was strange however the vaccination debate has become a HUGE population splitter in the last 2 years. It makes sense NOW…but this was a decade ago. It was weird. Again, for us, it was no big deal, they’re still great doctors, it just wasn’t what we were looking for.
We had to find the right fit for US.
We shortly found the doctor that we liked and have used him ever since. We have been with him now for nearly 10 years. He has always served us well and we are happy. Lately however, he seems to have been getting over-analytical and too apt to jump the gun.
Being a pediatrician can’t be an easy job. My clients literally come into the clinic and say, “I hurt right here!” The decision-making process with little kids that can’t really speak or help direct your flow and diagnosis has to be rough. It’s difficult, so I understand. But I don’t want to discuss with the pediatrician that my son may have to go to the hospital for a few nights when he has a spider bite or basic cold. It just seems that some of our minor concerns have become major issues with him the last few visits. He’s too nervous, too cautious. So my wife and I were discussing what we were looking for in a new pediatrician and how we would go about in essence -firing him.
At the playground after school one day, I was talking to Talitha, one of our friends, about her decision-making process and I asked her, “How are things with your pediatricians through the military base? We have an issue that we are having with ours and are looking around -our guy is just not working. You guys have moved around a lot, what works for you and what have you found?”
She stated immediately, I mean, zero pauses…“Like everything I guess, you win some, you lose some.” She continued, “I’m not sure you will ever find someone that does everything exactly like you prefer so we take what our guy says when applicable and do it our way or look for a second opinion when it doesn’t seem to fit us.”
Yeah, Whatever girl, you’re giving me a cliche?
Fast forward 20 minutes as I walk into the house, “Hey Nikki – I think we’re fine with our pediatrician. He seems to really do a good job when we need him to and he’s always been there and been able to get us in when we need to. He just sometimes gets a little bit over concerned. At least we have someone that cares and can offer us his best opinion based on the circumstances, at the end of the day it’s up to us to decide what’s best for our kid though.”
Yeah, you win some – you lose some.
The simple cliché just fits perfectly. The entire process of sorting through the internet, the waiting rooms, the interviews during our kids coughing fits, the insurance BS, the inevitable small issues we would chalk up as a fail later – all of it – gone – by a simple statement from a friend with more experience and/or better insight than myself.
It’s not going to be perfect, it’s going to be good. It’s the law of 7’s and all is well.
Talitha, thanks for that – you probably don’t even remember saying it but it had an impact and made a HUGE difference in my life and a colossal difference in my PITA quotient. (Pain in the ASS)
I’ve since used this quote while at the grocery store, while discussing what dinner we were going to eat, when discussing what kids sporting event we were going to set up for and at what time, and countless other appropriate minor league operations in my life. Each of which has simply yet physically “de-stressed” and saved time in my world.