Last year I ran an article about what should be dead and gone in 2018 and yet, somehow still persists.
So for 2019, a similar idea – only this time instead of just griping and complaining I will offer simple solutions. This way, in lieu of just nodding your head in agreement, together we can actively participate and make the entire world better!
#1 After attending an event, say a football game, ballet or rodeo…Exiting Traffic goes every other one.
One car goes from this lane and then a car follows from that lane.
Corpus Christi, this is mostly for you. It may seem weird, but lots of city cultures actually implement this rule already.
This way, There is no more mad rush to quickly sneak one in – we’re all stuck here together so just understand no matter what you do the absolute best you could possibly do is get yourself a few seconds ahead. And that’s at the expense of pissing off the guy who is now behind you. That’s the guy honking and increasing everyone’s anxiety.
Every other car. This goes for highway one lane closures too. If it needs to be more complicated than this and an algorithm needs applied a local traffic cop will be there for your benefit, don’t worry.
Once again – every other car, in fact smile and wave your hand in a palm up European manner “opening gesture of goodwill.” ahh, that feels better.
#2 Keep yourself from venting opinions on social media – any opinions. Comments should be relegated to, “you look awesome – You did awesome, Congrats and Your kids have gotten so big!” Feel free to freestyle a little bit but keep it along those lines.
For the Love of Humanity and all that’s good and fair in the world – please!
Ok, I know you’re going to keep it up. You can’t help it – its your conscious stream of thought, down for posterity on the world wide web. The rants, the opinions, political orientations, your stance on guns and blah blah blah…for what? To change someone’s opinion?
It’s well documented internet percentage fact that since the dawn of social medial 14 years ago, ZERO opinions have been changed in 18, 654, 435, 234 posts to date. Zero. The only change that has happened is due to misinformation. My mom wants to dose Vit B7 because it will make her hair shiny and increase libido. Not because your opinion swayed her ‘on the fence’ ideals.
Especially politics – Especially….If you are compelled to lash out as opposed to just watching the bipartisan shitshow then do something – my friend Aislyn ran for mayor. She freaking ran in an election for mayor! The interesting part – she just wanted to jump start the heartbeat of our city – the result – the most ever voter turnout in the history of the city and on her life resume she gets to add “ran for freaking mayor!” Both responsible and just plain cool.
#3 Get your life right – Real Life Age
This includes exercise, diet, stress and joy and smiling
New rules to be aware of – exercise now has 3 components – not 2… add to cardio and strength – mobility, which is somehow the new guy on the block and at the same time the original fitness ideal. You need all three.
And that’s just for exercise – don’t forget to eat right, balance, agility and speed, mental calmness, happiness and overall just feeling like you won at life today.
This is terrible advice for me professionally because if you do these things, as a chiropractor, I’ll see you less!
But while you’re there – seriously, focus this year and add some damn vegetables to your diet – fix the diet – It’s WAY bigger of a deal than you think – keto, paleo, intermittent fasting whatever – add veggies – you need it.
And the stress/joy idea? We may have, as a staff, stumbled onto a silver bullet magic pill type deal yesterday after a workout. Smile. That’s all. As we were walking to the grocery to pick up lunch, I had the boys look at people. 100’s of people. No smiles. What the hell guys? A smile is free and basically no effort. (link)
Let’s put the hypothesis to the test then. Just smile, heck fake it if you need to – Imagine yourself naked or holding an amazing secret or anything. Just smile.
#4 No more saying scary stuff to friends, stranger or in company.
One of my biggest pet peeves –
Example: “I’m pregnant.”
Can now, NEVER be followed up by, “Oh man, I just had a friend that had a terrible time with her pregnancy…” and then proceed to set the stage of disaster.
Or “my nephews baby has this.. Or this…” agh Stop it!
You can’t believe when I went through my heart stuff how many of my friends and clients told me stories of a guy they knew that was healthy and fit and had 4 kids that just up and died. I’m serious. They’d just hear me say “heart stuff” and within 10 seconds tell me, basically, I’m going to die. Like more than 50% of the people I knew –
I’ll bet pregnant women, hear negative WAY higher than that – like 85%!
First of all – screw off…you don’t need to tell me that. That’s crappy friendliness.
Second – I’m well aware of some issues, I’m not going to be that guy or that percentage. I’m going to fly through this and as a friend, you need to constantly remind me of that.
Third – dude..Billions of people are fine – tell me a positive story right now!
This rule applies for all surgeries, sicknesses, auto accidents, cancers, concussions, scrapes and cuts (its not going to be mersa/flesh eating bacteria/staph monster cells.). All and any risks.
You no longer can say anything negative.
Let the doctor’s, nurses and professionals be the bringer of bad news, not you. And even if it is bad, it is your responsibility as my friend to spin it well. All the way to the end if need be.
#5 – The One Minute Rule
If it takes less than a minute to do and you are aware of it – you HAVE to do it.
- Gah…here’s last years list – it still applies – it covers littering, racism and ….2018
#7 Green Mushroom – 1 upper
This is the Bane of my existence – I’m more guilty of this than anyone I know. Well, there is one guy much worse than me – He’s like the Jedi Master of one upping but I’m going to let it go.
Wait? You’re not hip on 1-upping?
You: “ I just had the best meal at this restaurant this weekend guys, it was amazing.”
Me: “This one time, while traversing the Alps, I was avalanched in a small swiss village with 7 gorgeous european models that barely spoke English and all we had to eat or drink was the Brandy from the St.Bernards little collar keg. It was an amazing weekend of debauchery and love…life was at it’s apex and delicious that night my fiends…much like your hamburger at TG Fridays, I’m sure.”
That. Is One-Upping.
First off guys, I’m sorry – I’m trying to fix my past wrongs right now. I’m guilty.
I swear friends, I’m not trying to one up you- most of my stories aren’t better – I’m just enjoying hanging out with you and want to keep the stories flowing. I often exaggerate as a form of literary embellishment to keep the story going and the fun continual.
I think it’s fun and conversation – but it doesn’t come off that way at all. It comes off douchey.
Now, in place of one upping – Just nod, laugh and keep your story to yourself as a great point of reflection and joy – like a hidden treasure. OR, start a blog page and people can come and go as they want for a glimpse into your crazy mind..
#8 Comparisons and Jealousy.
I once read that a sure fire way to lose joy is Comparisons and Jealousy.
Especially among friends.
Are you a Hater? A good friend WANTS their friends to make more, do more, have trips, do adventures and overall be successful.
You just took a risk and made a boat load of money? Awesome! Just bought a new car, again? Dude, you do you – I’m happy for you. Trip to France? Lets get a beer and tell me about it.
#9 Stop trying to search for happiness.
To be happy…you have to accomplish something – it’s not the meditation, diet, joy mantra’s, etc – these are the things you do to set your stage and feel good. Happiness is a bit different. It’s not out there to find or discover, you create it.
#10 Give yourself a 10 second time delay – I’ve mentioned this before but I’m thinking more along the lines of our president and social media and internet and behind your back trolls. Here’s the deal, whatever you say or do can and will be taken as a “main point’ snippet.
A solo moment completely devoid of any and all surrounding conversation, time in history or humorous application. You will be tried and judged on a one sentence “summary statement” even in the minds of your friends. I have had family members that get upset over something I have said or done in jest.
Did you see the episode where Comedians talk about how PG and even G rated they need to be because the old style shock type jokes are so Taboo and PC sensitive? It’s just not worth the backlash or career suicide to try them for a laugh. One of the highest art forms in the history of the planet, humor, is being internally censored because someone somewhere will have their feelings hurt. Bah, I’m like you – who cares. I’m going to do me and screw what they think! Sometimes that approach is fine – but just pause…for ten seconds – is it worth saying? If I utilized a ten second delay, my family and patient would think I was a genius, but I say stuff and do stuff then immediately change my mind and that just comes off a little cra cra.
Last thing, on this point – basically the Flip side
One of the easiest ways to make your year better – just don’t have your feeling hurt so much. Especially from your friends – we all have the tendency to think, “if they were my friends they wouldn’t have done or said that.” when in fact – if they weren’t your friends they wouldn’t even being hanging out with you. The fact that you were there is the proof they are your friends.
Let the hurt feelings go.