Your doctor can’t help you if you’re Deconditioned!! (now edited and remixed for 2K18!)

I had a completely different article written…it was terrible.  Honestly  -I could’ve eaten a can of alphabet soup and puked out a better article.

It was crap because I had already ranted on this topic before – so here’s a remix for you – hard hitting and honest.  It’s not for everyone, but you can each take something from it I’m sure.  it’ll keep you from getting old.

Myself and other, we’re supposed to be your doctors.   The guys that shoots you straight and gets you living a longer healthier life.  We’re ridiculously upbeat and positive and should give you that perfect answer for your questions on Health, Happiness and Longevity and maybe sprinkle in some quick analogies to help you remember tips and tricks.   Never do we have a bad day or have any personal issue – It’s all about you – we’ve got your back.

Then why do I smile and avoid the true problem?    Why when you ask me how [blank] happened do I say, “you’re just getting older” or other nonsense.

Yes, I know if you see one of us in the healthcare system, you’ve got a actual issue – a pulled muscle, or a stiff shoulder or you have a cold – but you ask me what’s the cause? Why did this happen? and I clam up.

As a whole, the planet we live on and its human inhabitants are getting more and more deconditioned, out of shape and lazy.  The early new year is the perfect time to get into this.

Deconditioned!   as in we can’t move well.

This is not an overweight article!  If you woke up this January and seriously aren’t sure if you’re overweight or not then that’s your problem.    You’re lying to yourself.   You know.

But what if your like this guy – Not overweight at all  – but extremely unhealthy.  This is my patient from (undisclosed amount of time ago) that takes the prize for my all time most de-conditioned and critical client of all time…

– That’s not a light statement – my clinic is 15 years strong with close to 19,000 unique clients and this is my all time worst.   Just imagine what I’ve seen as a chiropractor.    He can hardly walk, it’s more of a zombie shuffle.  Bad knees, multiple replaced body parts, misery in the eyes, no mobility to speak of  – if I ask him to raise his hands above his head is looks like hes changing gears, like a kids cog-wheel toy and he still he can barely scratch his scalp.   He measures his days in good days (as in I had a good day last month and was able to walk my dog around the block).

This guy was in after a fall  – wait, I can’t do it justice, let me just quote the conversation.  Funny in a really sad way – but it paints a picture of a character that is eye opening.

Client:   “Doc, garbageI have this thing I want you to look at, man it really jacked me up – I was taking my garbage can down to the street and got all tangled up in the lid and it twisted me around, of course I fell and hurt my arm, wrist, shoulder, neck and back.  Of course my knees hurt and my neck.  And shoulder.    I don’t know what happened, I mean I know it’s heavy [the garbage can?] but not sure if I just lost my balance from moving too fast [again, the garbage can]or if one of my dozens of meds just messed up my head…but can you help me.”

He wasn’t embarrassed – I guess at this point its just a fact of life that he’s feeble and getting your ass kicked by a garbage bin can happen to anyone.   Dude!

It takes this man 1 full minute to get on my table and another full minute to get up.   He can’t roll over with out it taking 10 steps, grunts, leg swings, a fart and then flailing a hand out into space in a desperate effort to have me help them.   That’s to roll over?  seriously…Dude!

In this transaction, I’m the employee here right? –He pays me  – He’s the boss.  I have to do whatever he wants… so technically yes, I can help with some acute pain no doubt.  Like a bandaid on a skinned knee of a 6 year old, I can offer some comfort but can I help him…as in fix?   NO –  Not one chance and I seriously think if someone gave me a million dollars to bring this person back to health I couldn’t do it.   Beyond full recovery.  And that’s a crappy place to be.

Do I tell him this?  Would you – can his doctor truly tell him that it’s not the fall but the life, the conditioning, the ability to move that is drastically shortening his lifespan.   He just got WWE 3 count pinned by a square piece of plastic and he wants a fix?   DUDE!!

He’s not overweight – he’s not fat.  This isn’t the lose 10 pounds by Easter headline.

I don’t think if he was overweight it would directly affect why his shoulder is sore or his hip is stiff and immobile.    Not directly, not much – regardless of size.

It’s not about fat – it’s about movement.

Don’t ever let yourself get like this guys – you’re my friends.  It would break my heart to see you like this- or even degrees of this – so this year ask a different question.

Ask yourself,  “Am I DECONDITIONED?”

This guy and many on the spectrum of shitty health led me to further think about the real cause of sickness, soreness, pain  and declining health.  And here’s what it is…

“Deconditioned” – That’s THE cause – of all of it.

The biggest cost, wasted money, wasted time, loss of fun and energy,  and reason for tax hikes, insurance reform, rising deductibles  and the list goes on and on.

It’s the start of a never ending circle of doctors, therapists, chiropractors, the search for miracle pills, cremes,  diets and workout plans and it’s the giant purple elephant in the room that we all just fail to see!

Its a slow, ongoing spiral down to the point where one day you wake up and its just gone.  The ability to move well has been lost.Image result for doctor pulling his hair out

Now you have the Don Quitotesque climb out of the pit of deconditioned.  It is a huge saga and quest.    It’s not on your doctor or therapist or trainer –  It’s all you.   Most just don’t have the willpower to do it


Is it effort to roll over, get out of bed or tie your shoes-  – can you move?  can you squat? Can you squat with your arms over your head?  Can you run a mile?

You need to be able to move or the stats show, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE EARLY.   Look, I don’t want to tell you,  I’m not here to scare you, I just want to shout information you need to know.    I’m not alone, Dr. Jordan Metzl  “The Exercise Cure” has a best seller out right now screaming this exact thing.    MOVE.  GREAT, NOW GET BETTER AT MOVING.

His #1 test for assessing health?   Blood pressure?  No.   Cholesterol?  Nope, Stress  test?  Vo2 max, bench Press?   Not even Close.

His #1 test is amazing…Lie on your back, now get up. –

Ever had a doctor ask that?  They should.

Try it.

Did you use a hand to get up?  2 hands?   A railing?  Your neighbor?  The fire department?

If you used anything more than one hand,  you need some help.  Don’t lie to yourself and stop excuses – you need help, NOW.

Yes, all of us, barring any serious injury should be able to get up off the ground without much effort, in fact there shouldn’t be any effort to get up, or get out of a car, or roll over on my table.    You should be able to move.   Work on getting your conditioning back!

Imagine the every day tasks that are compromised if you can’t even get up.    Stairs shouldn’t be scary, gyms shouldn’t be scary, long sunset walks on the beach and golf course should be something you look forward to.   That stuff isn’t exercise.   I like the idea of parking farther away at the store, but that is NOT exercise.    That’s just walking more.    Vigorously doing the dishes/laundry is NOT exercise.   Stairs? nope – thats just moving from one point to the next.    Agh!

Start now.  Move – practice get ups and get better.    Even as a guy in pretty good shape I often employ get ups into my workouts where I will get up 10-12 times never doing it the same way twice in a row, it’s a great warmup, great way to get all the joints and muscles involved.   It is not THE workout, you are all better than that!    If you need help, use your resources.  Get a gym, a training partner and some motivation.  There are a number of great people that you can leach off for workouts, info, training tips and ideas- It’s all about self improvement!

Get ups are obvious – how about overhead squats – holy crap those are terribly hard right?  Well, they shouldn’t be.   How about sitting in an Asian squat position like my G’s in India and China – Impossible – why?    Rolling over on the floor?

Look, I hear client s of mine use the “I’m just getting old” crap all the time – its a cop out – not moving right is not because you’re old its because you don’t practice or try.

“Well I want to work out but I’m afraid I’ll hurt myself”…Its because you don’t move right.  Fix this and workouts become a breeze.

the ONLY way to stop deconditioned is to MOVE – and never stop.  Now go do it!

Book image Used with permission from Dr. Metzl Himself.   Get it.  Get with it.

He was happy to share.Image result for dr jordan metzl

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