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  • The Last October Clag –

    The Last October Clag –

    Clag- (noun) a thick low fog or cloud (verb) to stick, like boots in the mud

    Podcast available at BeAwesome365

    I guess the best way to explain “The Night” that changed my entire life is to first describe the morning of that day.

    I live on Padre Island, Texas. Twice a year during the autumn, as the relentless summer finally starts to cool off and again in the spring, the island undergoes some of the most magical renditions of ground fog of anywhere I’ve ever seen.

    The fog will hang about 8 feet above the ground, erasing the sand dunes and grass that grows below.

    I’d never seen anything in real life like it until we moved here decades ago. The only thing comparable is Hollywood’s special effects.

    Old timers call it a clag. You know the kind I’m talking about. The Halloween-style spook movie where the fog rolling in over the graveyard lets you only make out vague shapes and silhouettes of the trees and gravestones behind it.

    It’s like that for us on Padre Island, maybe a dozen times a year. Magical. Creepy.

    This morning was that kind.

    Taking my kids to school, it was just… I don’t know how to explain it. Impressive.

    The sun was just rising over the dunes, and the fog was so thick and reflective. My kids and I could only see three or four cars before us.  Even the gas station at the corner of Whitecap was barely visible, even with its neon lights ablaze.

    My drive to work was the same. The fog was so thick that upon arrival at the bridge, I couldn’t even see the top. It was just a Highway going to the heavens.

    It’s not entirely uncommon.  As I’ve said, it happens a couple times per year.  Today, it was pretty spectacular. “Spooktacular,” my daughter said, “because of all the Halloween decorations” we could occasionally make out.  

    Truthfully, it was spooky, even scary, and I had that Deja Vu feeling the entire drive.   We all felt something was “off” and even Bruce, our yellow lab pup was acting weird, with his shackled Mohawk up and a low guttural belly growl at times.   

    Aside from the ominous nature of the drive and the forced chuckles from our car that morning, nothing strange or out of the ordinary really happened during the day. 

    It was work as usual, lunch as usual, and I planned for, or instead didn’t even think about, a typical drive home that night.  Work was “Business as usual.” Typical to every other day, routine and forgettable.  

    I had my mind on that night. An exciting homecoming football game was to take place. Hopefully, my son, a wide receiver on the team, would shine! 

    Nothing that day would stand out until that drive home. That’s when things went so far off course, I don’t have anything to compare it to. It was something I’d never experienced.

    It’s not unusual for the ground fog to come back at night; in fact, I think that’s when most people would expect it, and as the sun started to set, it was apparent. This was going to be one of those evenings. As I drove into Padre Island, the fog was exceptionally thick, even more so than in the morning, which says a lot.

    What I noticed the most was that the fog itself, was different.  

    Fog is nearly always blanketed in layers horizontally where the layers of moisture lie stack upon stack.  It’s what makes the trees and vague shapes stand out and gives it that creepy feel, like the ocean waves we’re used to, living on an Island. 

    Tonight’s fog wasn’t anything like that at all. I’m sure everybody else driving home that night also noticed it- something was way off!  

    The fog that night was in “riffs” that were going straight vertical, maybe 8 to 12 feet up in the air. The only thing I can compare it to is one of those movies from the 1980s like Ghostbusters or “Night of the Living Dead” or how someone would describe “a soul leaving the body.”

    There were thousands of these! Straight vertical and spaced out randomly. The visual I have, coming down the back side of the bridge will never leave me. They were everywhere! Around Starbucks, into the dunes, and surrounding all the houses on that first canal.

    I saw it and instinctively knew something was inconsistent, but I don’t think it fully hit my consciousness until later, as I was trying to rethink what might’ve happened. It was enough to give me a little chill, though, and I’m sure I murmured something like, “That’s weird; I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.”

    By the time I got home and poured myself a rum and Coke in anticipation of tonight‘s homecoming game, I noticed it was exceptionally dark out. Too dark for supper time. I felt “socked in.”

    Soon after, we all got the alarm beeps on our phones. All of our family phones chiming for our attention just seconds apart.   “Beep, Beep, Beep.” The emergency system. I’m guessing you did as well.

    The alarms slammed the “strange” into reality. This amplified the situation, notifying us that things were progressing into the realm of “code orange – anomaly presented, pay attention.”

    Apparently, the fog in Flour Bluff was so thick that the football game would be canceled.  Even the gigantic lights at the football stadium were not enough to penetrate the intense fog.

     Yet, who uses the emergency system to notify a city about a football game? Damn I love Texas!

    I got a text from one of my coach friends stating:

    “U wouldn’t believe what it looks like over here/Stadium lights reflecting directly off fog/ Can’t see 3 feet! /Not sure how kids are getting home/BE CAREFUL!”

    50 minutes later, my son came walking in. You could tell he was kind of shaken. He rode home with “Hooks” one of his Hornet’s teammates. From Flour Bluff to the Island, he told me they didn’t go over 15 miles an hour. A train of cars came back from the high school and they just followed the tail lights from the car in front of them. “Even like that,” he said, “we could barely see!”

    He was visibly agitated, and I could tell he was kind of shaken. I had been in Blizzards and driven home similar to that while growing up in South Dakota. I knew the nerves and fatigue he felt. I asked him what he thought was going on?

    He replied, “I don’t know, and I didn’t say anything to Hooks on the way home Dad, but I swear, when we were going over the ocean, I could almost make out “Things” moving just out of my periphery.”   He continued, “You might think I’m just freaked out, but something was rising straight up out of the water. When I tried to focus on it, I couldn’t.   I thought it was weird fog, like going up and down. But that’s what my brain said. What I felt was that it was more…complete.    I don’t know.”    His eyes welled up.  “He pulled into his driveway and I didn’t even want to walk home. I made him drive me here, 6 houses away!”

    What the hell? 

    That night continued to be unlike any I’ve ever experienced before.

    At about 9:30, the electricity and the lights with it, went out. No more Internet, no more iPhones, text and all communication, gone.  No news- no nothing.    And dark unlike anything I’ve seen before.

    We’re not a really a prepper family, but I have basic provisions and often joked with my wife through the years that I’m more like a Boy Scout. “Always be prepared.”

     I had all sorts of candles, and we sat around via candlelight that night.

    I kept looking out the window, seeing if I could see any of the neighbors with candles in their windows.

    Not only could I not see the neighbors’ houses, I couldn’t even see the cars parked in my driveway a dozen feet away. My wife and Casen, my 11-year-old, kept telling me to go outside, check things out, and see what it was like.   

    Nikki asked me, “Why don’t you just run over to the Wilsons and see what they think?” but I didn’t.

    I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t terrified. I don’t know precisely why; I’m not scared of the dark and a family night by candlelight seemed like something I’d find kind of adventurous any other night.   I think the fact that the homecoming game was canceled and we had no contact with anyone just kind of put the willies in me. I couldn’t see the pool just a few steps out my backyard. The Wilson’s house, in that kind of dark, felt like it would be a quest!

    I ventured outside only once that night if you could call it that. I stayed about 2 feet outside my door. My cats come in almost every night at 10pm but tonight, no matter how much we called and yelled, the cats never returned. When I opened my front door to shake the treats and call them in, it was like a wall in front of me. And it wasn’t like any fog I’ve ever seen before. No vapors were rolling into my house; instead it was almost like a glass window with smoke behind it.  It just sat there, frozen, 18 inches in front of me.   The sound I made calling for Skittles and Butterball seemed to go nowhere, simply…absorbed.

    I’m a pretty big guy, and I feel very secure in my manhood and toughness, but there was no way I was sticking my hand out into that fog. I held those cat treats next to my chest like a poker player at the final table. I love my cats, but I was quick to go back inside.

    Eventually, we all fell asleep but slept in the same room, tribal style, something we hadn’t done for a decade. Nobody really said anything other than “It’s strange,” but we all felt it. There was nothing even remotely familiar about that night.

    There was no noises from outside. Nothing. No echoes either.

    You know how you can just hear sounds in “thick” fog? Maybe one of the neighbors talking outside, or a motorcycle gets started in the garage and it echoes around. How you can hear stuff but can’t tell what direction it is coming from? No direction, yet somehow, amplified?

    Yeah? Well, this was nothing like that. All night long was a muffled silence so thick that we could feel it.

    Throughout the night, I woke up multiple times. But I couldn’t tell you how many times and I couldn’t tell you what time of the night it was. My phone, heck, all of our phones showed 0:00 every time I looked – that’s not even a time!

    I never once spoke to anyone else in my family, but I’m guessing they also woke up. I couldn’t tell you if that night lasted 10 hours for three or four days. But if pressed, I’d lean toward the latter. It certainly felt longer than expected.

    As if “unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before” wasn’t enough, waking up to a day like this only made our confusion and, at this point, our ability to hold off PANIC -much worse.

    I was starving when we finally came to. The family woke up all saying the same thing. We were “all incredibly hungry,” and the “night was long to the point of unusual.” The phones, ipads, and everything battery charged, had all completely died.

    Our first thought was for food, but the stuff in the refrigerator had pretty much all gone bad. The freezer as well. It had to be more than one night that we were out, but there was no way to judge because the sun never appeared. How does stuff in the freezer go bad in one night?

    We had no electricity, so we got by with what we could find in the pantry. Halloween themed Twinkies, Cupcakes and a couple lunch sized packages of nuts. There’s all kinds of stuff in the pantry. We would be good for at least a week and I had one of those “survival containers” of freeze dried foods. Modern style MREs if we needed them.

    The fruit on our kitchen counter was all rotten. It looked like it had been there for weeks. No flies, no smell, just -Expired.

    Outside, finally, a little bit of light. Not morning. I walk out every morning and watch the sunrise with a cup of coffee. It hadn’t returned to that sort of normal. Today, it looked like late dusk. Light enough that we could see and with some visibility in the house, but it was still pretty dark. The fog must have receded at least, and combined with my night vision from the longest night of my life, I could see around well enough.

    When I went to throw out the putrid fruit, well, that’s when we really knew stuff was wrong. We had advanced well beyond a spooky October night and into the to realm of science fiction. The garbage bag I held dropped to the ground, startling my wife. My twins, just a few steps behind me, braked hard and asked, “What’s wrong, Dad?”

    I didn’t have an answer them.

    Not that I didn’t have an answer. Things were indeed wrong, but simply, I couldn’t speak. I just sat there looking. My eyes peeled wide-open, my brain could not comprehend what I was seeing.

    There was nothing left.

    Nothing that I recognized.

    It was almost as if something picked up our house and transported it back in time. The Wizard of Oz meets Jurassic Park.

    The grasses in my front yard were probably 6 feet high. There was nothing recognizable across the street. No neighbor’s houses, fences, or signs of my cars or any other cars.

    The giant driveway just yards out of my front door was in small pieces. Like a river rocks spotted throughout a creek. I could make out little pieces of concrete here and there, but for the most, it was overrun by grass, trees, and wild vegetation.

    I think, looking back, part of the shock was that I have a lot of banana trees around my house. During the time I’ll call, “the longest night of my life” took place, the bananas had basically taken over. There were thousands of 15-foot banana trees everywhere I looked all up and down what used to be my neighborhood.

    Probably in seconds, but what felt like half an hour, my brain caught up to my eyes. I did start to recognize more pieces of what used to be my neighborhood.

    Although no roofs were left on the houses, I did make out a few square areas that must’ve once been the corner of my neighbor’s foundations. It was just poking out through the grass maybe 8 feet tall but that’s the only recognizable thing I saw. Here and there, throughout my street, I could see remnants of houses, but it looked as if I had been transported into the dystopian future from The Terminator. Just bits and pieces of humanity were all that was left. Rusty rims with no tires, a chimney stack a few “houses” down, lower vegetation, like a golf course rough, where there used to be asphalt streets.

    The canals that zig-zag through our neighborhood had changed as well. Across the street, what used to be my neighbor’s house was now a canal that can only be described as a river, probably 5x wider than it had been the day before and with huge queen palm trees and cat tails scattered along the banks. I hadn’t yet thought to be apprehensive about what might be swimming in that water.

    But I would.

    The kids were awe-struck as well, and all together, even as a family, we didn’t journey more than a few steps out of our house that first time out. Even our two dogs did their business at the end of our doorway, and they were in a hurry to get back inside.

    I won’t bore you with more details other than to say something significant happened that night and upended what we always thought of as our busy everyday life.

    It’s been a week now; it’s time to do something. We’re all hungry, thirsty and tired. Our home feels safe, but I don’t think we can stay here much longer. I’ve scouted our neighborhood but only went as far as the next street over. I brought binoculars and could make out what used to be the big bridge by Doc’s and Snoopy’s that was our connection to the mainland. There’s not much left. Much like the morning on that first day, I can make out a track of road going up, but it’s look as it’s been in disrepair for a century, and the entire top half of the bridge is gone. Rotted and fallen into the Laguna,

    At night, the new “quiet” is instantly noticeable. There is NO background air conditioners or sprinklers, no transformers buzzing. Nothing. It’s remarkable!

    There are sounds we had been used to “before.” Cranes, storks, whistler ducks, dog barks (they seem to be fighting), but there are also other sounds. BIG sounds. Crashes, Booms, what sounds like an animal walking. Only if it’s animals, they must be the size of elephants! We’ve all taken turns looking outside a window, but there’s nothing to see with the vegetation so grown over.

    We’re scared but human. And humans adapt.

    Tomorrow, we’re heading out. We’ve packed enough for a camping adventure with each kid carrying what they can, and I have a pretty good tent. (God, let’s hope we dont have to stay in a tent!)

    The plan we came up with is to move out toward the other end of the island. We’ll try to get to the school and grocery store area today and from there try to find another place to spend the night. Surely our house can’t be all that’s left. We hope to find supplies. That’s what we say, but we’d like to find other people. The “alone feeling” has set in a way I hadn’t ever understood or felt before. I’m leaving this note behind as a sort of journal, a record for someone out there that may come by our house. I’m sure your story is similar.

    Hopefully we’ll be back by here in a few days.

    signed – CP

  • The little man. A Halloween short story.

    It was a typical South Texas October night. A night just like today.

    It was still warm, but the first cool autumn breeze had come to Corpus Christi. Everyone was excited because we had our first big rainstorm, and the weather cooled. Even my two dogs could feel the change in the air and eagerly anticipated their nightly walk. 

    I could barely keep them from blasting the door open as I grabbed the leashes. Because it was so pleasant out, rather than simply a jot around the block, we decided to proceed a little longer than usual. 

    It was evening, and the sun had gone down over an hour ago. We live in a regular but perhaps slightly upscale neighborhood.  There are a few vacant yards that I will walk by on my standard mile-and-a-half loop. The streets are mostly well-lit, with only a few areas by these empty yards that I would describe as truly, dark.

    It was while approaching one of these exceptionally dark spots that my evening changed. I had been watching my dogs roll up to every street light to sniff around, in what I think of as much like my parents with their morning newspaper. Streetlights are like the News for dogs. They were exploring who had been around the block that day and wanted to know what everybody was up to. Because of this, looking at street lights, I think my eyes hadn’t yet fully adapted to proper night vision.

    It was then that I noticed something crossing the road. I saw it first on the far side of the street and could barely make out anything, just motion noticed in my periphery.  Human instinct is to track movement, and soon it was directly in front of me, not 10 feet away, yet I still couldn’t categorize it properly.  Tiny, it couldn’t have been more than 8 inches high, and initially, because of the way it moved, I had the impression that it was a small chicken. I’m nearly sure there are no chickens in my neighborhood, so this caught me immediately as out of the ordinary.

    The more I squinted and strained to see it, the more this creature became indecipherable. I couldn’t tell what it was. My brain tried to make sense of it, and my initial thought of a chicken quickly changed. I thought it must be some sort of tiny dog and then immediately changed my mind to that of a possum. The more I strained, the more it seemed to change shape, but I know it wasn’t truly “physically changing” at all.  Looking back on it, I think my brain couldn’t handle what I saw.

    The dogs had utterly frozen. They noticed but didn’t go after it.  They didn’t bark or stir, and neither of them moved at all. 

    While recollecting this encounter later, from the comforts of home, I’m pretty sure I was the same. My jaw hung open, eyes squinting, breathing frozen, trying to process all of it.

    I’ve heard experts talk about Flight, Fight or Freeze.  There was no question about which “F” loop I was caught up in. 

     My older dog was the first to snap out of it.   He wasn’t on a leash and cautiously approached the thing. He didn’t run at it like he would a cat or a possum but approached it slowly. My puppy sat there, one paw still hanging in the air, watching his older brother. A statue.

    The thing ran off, moving goofily, almost unhinged, what we call in the sports world “Bambi syndrome.” It climbed a very short tree that couldn’t have been more than 3 feet tall. By this time, both dogs had decided they were interested and wanted to follow it. But neither of them ran at it like they would a typical neighborhood animal. They approached cautiously. I could barely make out the thing but watched as it jumped off a limb and took off, running with it’s crazy gait, to a fence. Even as it ran, my dogs pursued, but they did not run. I saw nothing more than its general form scamper up a fence wall- quick and agile, like a monkey turning cartwheels and then over into the Mansfield’s backyard.

    My dogs sat sniffing the fence, not barking, panting, or making noise. Within 15 or 20 seconds, they made their way back to me. I thought, “That’s not how they’d behave while chasing a cat or raccoon.”

    We continued on our walk, dumbstricken. It wasn’t until I got out of the dark area and back under some light that my brain started processing again. I am confident my eyes saw correctly, but my brain would not acknowledge that what I had seen crossing the street was a tiny little man. It was dark, but I definitely saw him. He dressed as if he were camping. With a little sack like a hobo would have while hopping trains 100 years ago.

    What I initially had processed as fuzziness and fur was some sort of handmade sweatshirt, similar to a Mexican Sarape. It was dark, and I couldn’t make out exactly what it was, but a minute or so after the fact, there was no denying it. I was about half a mile away from my house, so I had nearly 10 minutes to process what I had just seen.

    I wasn’t on anything, hadn’t had any alcohol for weeks, and wasn’t taking any medication. I knew what I saw, though- and I wasn’t going to tell anybody.

    I was somewhat fitful while I slept that night, both because of what I had seen and because holding in a secret isn’t comfortable..  By the following day, I had sort of rearranged things in my head, processing it in a way where I was certain that I was simply mistaken. I went on with my day like any other typical day. Drove to work, was a solid chiropractor to people in need, got in a great workout, and came home at the end of the afternoon and coached soccer practice.

    That night was a lot easier. I had, in essence, dismissed nearly the entire issue. Though it still itched at the back recess in my brain, it wasn’t at the forefront.

    It wasn’t till the following morning that the little man returned to my life.

    While my kids were eating a solid breakfast of bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns, one of the twins mentioned an antidote that made me nearly drop my fork.  

    She told me that while they were at the Wilsons (our neighbors), they saw what they were sure was a tiny little man “about the size of a garden gnome” peeking over the fence while they were jumping on the trampoline.

    She continued that there were 4 or 5 kids there, and every one of them had seen him.

    I’m sure my daughter saw something strange in my eyes as she continued on.  

    “He wasn’t really scary at all, he moved like Woody From the Toy Story movie and it seemed like he was wearing a piece of a towel or something.”

    My youngest popped up, “We couldn’t get a very good look at him, but nobody wanted to get closer. We weren’t exactly scared, but it also wasn’t normal. It’s not something you see every day.”

    My wife chuckled and continue drinking her coffee.  Other than the story of a little man, it was a routine breakfast—nothing out of the ordinary.

    My daughter noticed me though, she asked if I believed her.

    I chuckled.   “Of course, honey, I believe you.” then I walked out of the room.  

    The next week wasn’t like a Halloween scary movie where a bunch of things kept compounding on each other and each scene got scarier and scarier but I’d be lying to you if I told you I just went on like everything was normal.

    I remember being slightly creeped out in the shower each morning before work. A sense of dread when I was returning to the house each night, closing the blinds, tighter,  Also, I wasn’t sleeping great. 

    One evening while watching TV we heard what sounded like a rapid knock coming from outside. It was impossible to tell if the sound was produced on our front door or window or a wall or even to tell exactly where in the house it had come from. 

    Everybody in the house heard it, even the dogs lifted their heads up and looked towards the sound, yet unlike when someone was at the front door, neither of them started barking nor did they get up and go to the door. We spent three or four minutes trying to find the cause of the knock but came up with nothing. 

    I can completely recall the look my dogs had with the knocking sound.  We all looked around, but they had a look of…something different. Curiosity? Certainly, dogs couldn’t look scared, could they?

    At one point my youngest son asked me, “What could’ve done that dad? it sounded like a woodpecker on a hollow tree.”

    That’s exactly what it sounded like, and there was no evidence that we could find otherwise.

    That week and honestly, since then, I had started walking the dogs about 2 hours earlier each night while it was still light out. The shadows were large and crossed the streets but I could still see in these shadows. I wanted nothing to do with another night time stroll. I wouldn’t fully admit it, but I was scared when I walked alone. Also, I’d subconsciously avoid (sub?) the street where I first saw the little man and typically kept myself close to other walkers.

    On one of these walks I saw a few of my neighbors chatting together at George’s house. There must’ve been five or six of them huddled by his front fence in a little congregation. I approached them.

    They were discussing something that probably through the seasons has been forgotten, but not by me.

    They were looking at this little garden house George’s wife had bought him years ago as a yard decoration.   He said it was something he’d sat outside for a little lizard house.  I knew what they were looking at, as I’d probably glanced at it hundreds of times through the years on walks.  

    He pointed to it, “What do you make of that?” 

    The decoration-house was where it had always been, yet had been manipulated into what looked like a camp sight. 

     I couldn’t talk, it was chilling to see.

    “What could’ve done that doc?” A neighbor asked.

    Thankfully George spoke up first.  “It’s absolutely crazy. I came out here about an hour ago and couldn’t believe what I was seeing!”

    The house had been used.  Debris and old mesquite leaves that had been caught inside through the years had been hauled off a few feet and stacked.  The inside was completely clean with one area that appeared to be bedding.  Soft needles that appeared to be slept in, with just a hint of indentation.   The ground around the front door had wear, not a path but an obvious displacement.  There even appeared to be what had to have been a small fire with a tiny charred area circled by pebbles and even what appeared to be a few tiny bones possibly from a mouse or lizard nearby.    

    It was strange to behold.

    There was some friendly general discussion from the neighbors about it with the underlying overall conclusion being that it was a Halloween prank from one of the local high school kids. It had to be, but why?  Who has the time or would give the effort?  We all let it sit like that. Just shaking our heads and slightly smiling. Wondering.

    Except for me. I wasn’t smiling and wasn’t wondering. So I didn’t say a thing and I never have, until today.

  • The story about the Big Exec. and his “Modern Day Hippie” kid Brother.

    The story about the Big Exec. and his “Modern Day Hippie” kid Brother.

    (Podcast available at BeAwesome365)

    I think the favorite aspect I have in my job, is the people I get to meet.

    As a sports based chiropractor, I get to meet people from all walks of life. All sorts of income, all sorts of employment and it’s just fun to get to know these people. In the course of doing so, I ask them questions that might give me some hidden insight into life or if nothing else, just a glimpse into a different path.

    I’ve worked on professional athletes, celebrities, plumbers, teachers, cops, pilots, models, crossfitters, kids, doctors, other chiropractors.. basically you name it and I have worked with them. Obviously, not on a first visit but as I get to know them, I have asked them questions about income, time, travel, lifestyle and especially happiness. (rule of 7 link).

    Today I had a unique case with a client I hadn’t met before. He was a guy about my age but had kids early in life and was telling me,  as we were comparing stories about our kids, about where his kids were in life.

    His oldest was a 33 year old executive that through the course of some fantastic business decisions and great connections was a “high up” in his company. At just 33 years old, he could retire if he wanted to and comfortably live for the rest of his life. He didn’t want to however. He was extremely driven and wanted to continue to create a dynasty in his business and cement Power through different boards and committees and a lasting legacy through charity and philanthropy.   

    In all aspects, when compared to most Americans, be it a celebrity or a pro athlete, this guy was successful. Extremely successful.   He not only was a member of one of the most prestigious country clubs in the country he was also on the board as the youngest board member. The restaurants that he took his family to were often packed with celebrities and the car he drove hadn’t come out at dealerships yet.   

    In a stark contrast, his youngest son was what the dad referred to as a modern-day hippie. He decided halfway through college that it wasn’t his thing, so he packed up his bags and moved to Montana. There he became a ski instructor and tended bar. When the winter snow was all gone for the season he would pack out to Costa Rica and do the same summer job only instead of ski patrol and instructing he was working the surf vibe.

    He also made great money. Unconventional, true. It’s not what his high school counselor suggested as a “career” but surprisingly good income. OK, Not “Executive in a Fortune 500 company” money but good money. He was able to travel around and have a lot of nice things. He didn’t have a lot of expenses because the places that he tended to live were on the ski hill or on the beach and were typically smaller “shack type” housing, perfect for his employment.    Now the gear that he had was high end. So, he typically didn’t have a lot of money in the bank. But he had the same gear as his rich brother, maybe more so. The car that he drove wasn’t the coolest or newest. It was just a pick up with a topper that he could just throw all his stuff in the back. Functional.

    “That’s crazy.”  I told him, “Two completely different kids huh?”  

    “No.” he said, “That’s what’s so cool. They are incredibly similar. They are both Ultra successful, Driven and they both do a fantastic job at what they both put their heads to.   Both have moved up their respective ladders and career choice at a much faster than what would be expected from young adults their age.”

    “One is a millionaire and honestly, could retire right now if he wanted to.   The other lives a dream life, goes where he wants to go and does what he wants to do. He doesn’t sit around and smoke joints all day and listen to crappy music, he just prefers The Nomad lifestyle.  He works man! In many aspects, he doesn’t have a pot to piss in..finacially speaking.   But he gets a giant kick out of  helping other people sample this lifestyle when on the ski hill or in the surf or even something as simple as picking a papaya off a tree.   They are both very true to themselves and good kids.  I’m proud of both of them.”

    As a parent,  I love the story. I am very happy for a man that has two successful kids and that has the perspective to realize that although completely different, they are both completely successful in their own right. I can only hope and pray that my kids are true to themselves and follow their own paths like this. I would hope that my kids at 30 years old don’t have a set definition of success, but feel it none the less.

    That would make me feel like a successful parent.

    He finished with one last statement that has resonated with me for the rest of the day.

    “You know Chad,  I do have one last thing I think I should tell you. Because one brother, although successful and happy is incredibly jealous of the other one.”

    “I talk to my kids on the phone all the time.  One brother often says that despite being happy and having all of the things he always wanted in life, he thinks about his brother all the time. He thinks about all the great stuff he has and all the great times he gets to have as well as all the fun things he gets to do in his life because of his position. ” 

    “Yep, the Older brother is extremely jealous of the younger one’s time and job.  Despite having all the money that he would ever hope to achieve he can’t go surfing whenever he wants to. He can’t go skiing whenever he wants to. He’s stuck in an office most of the day dealing with a bunch of people in the same life position that he is in. His life lacks variety. It’s just stuff. He doesn’t resent it. He just tells me he thinks his younger brother is more successful.  I work my ass off to take the vacation that my brother LIVES.”

  • Electrolytes – Dude, You need some (remix)

    Electrolytes – Dude, You need some (remix)

    cat cramps

    It’s time for a re-edit of this often used remedy.   I just walked off the set of our local HOT TV show “COASTAL LIVING” where today we dove into electrolytes.  Here’s what you need to know.

    (more…)

  • Lectins are Wrecking your Body

    Lectins are Wrecking your Body

    An explanation on the idea of Lectins that are wrecking your body.

     

    You haven’t heard of this yet?  You have, just by a different name..   Lectins are the proteins that get through the gut lining undigested.  They cause the reactive food idea that I’ve spoke about before. Essentially, your body treats lectins like an allergy –  in that it starts an immune response to try and rectify the situation.

     

    Ever heard of Gluten?  That’s a Lectin. It’s definitely not the ONLY lectin, just the popular one right now.  Multiple Lectins are prevalent in grains and wheats and even gluten free wheats, corn, quinoa, and in all kinds of foods.  They are also common in Nightshades like potatoes, eggplant and sweet potatoes – all of which light me up within minutes of eating.   You can’t escape them – they are everywhere! Like Freddy Krueger when you sleep, Lectins are there when you eat.

     

    Reactive foods

     

    I have had tons of results with working on the dietary removal of reactive foods and recently have started playing with extremely low carb/low sugar diets similar to Keto diet.

     

    Like I’ve said, lectins are everywhere and Dr. Gundry and others think these are the reactive agents.  The cause of darn near every single one of our ailments, diseases, pains and fat storage.

    I have been harping my clients  – it’s all about the diet – all of it.   Your fat belly, your gym productivity, your tiredness, your disease and achy joints.  Your misery. So, the idea of Lectins as the “culprit” to all our misery I find extremely interesting.   

     

    By simply removing these foods from your diet and allowing the gut to in essence “heal itself” your body can stop the High alert signals it is sending out over and over again and burning you out.

     

    This process is commonly called, “Leaky Gut”   – stuff that shouldn’t get through your guts and into the blood, does.  This is an easy idea to visualize but I dislike the name –

     

    My brother, a high school wrestling and football coach went from being tip top and working out daily with high school kids to walking with a cane pretty much within a month.  

    The cause?  the auto immune “disease” rheumatoid arthritis.  Although it took me a while to convince him and a few failed attempts, once he controlled the reactive foods in his diet, the inflammation went away and he was back to normal.  If he slips up he gets drilled again and it takes him a few days to respond and get well again. This is a common roller coaster for most auto immune diseases.

     

    Think about the disease itself – call it what you will, Lupus, Arthritis, Rheumatoid, Crohn’s, colitis, thyroiditis, tendonitis….I don’t care about the name, without inflammation,  there is not disease. So forget the name, stop the inflammation and the body reaction! That’s how you stop it.

     

    Well, as I state over and over again on this page – the healthcare system is in a major leaping step and on fast forward right now and if you snooze you lose – I feel where we are at in healthcare is akin to the first time antibiotics came on the scene in health and revolutionized our entire horizon of healthcare.  Its THAT BIG…RIGHT NOW!

    But, just like the last quantum leap, many will be left behind so I preach that it is up to you to be aware of these changes and treatments and see what works for you.  Don’t wait or expect your doctor to be on the same page – it might not be their thing. Yet.

    The fasting, the keto, the diet centered treatment for disease, functional medicine, getting back to working out and using the body…we’re there!   I think the Keto idea is fantastic and I like this idea of Lectin a lot. The science is valid. It really seems to be the next step and is easily tested and rechecked and Dr. Gundry is the spearhead in this movement.   If you are interested this is the guy you check out. Just as I feel Keto’s best spokesperson is Mark Sisson and I think a combo of these ideas may be the breakthrough we’ve been needing.

     

    As with anything, I think it deserves an experiment – on yourself – right now.  

     

    There is however a rub…It seems that all the literature and writeups kind of blow this off as a non issue but it’s a BIG issue.  For most – THE issue. A huge deep breath and gut check prior to just diving in…

     

    This is one of those good food/bad food plans..  “Foods with lectins are bad, m’kay” (South Park counselor voice.

     

    There is a lot of things, a lot of foods that are on the list.  Like everything. Seriously, I struggle with this idea and the plans that are similar because of how restrictive they are.   There’s just nothing to eat and it seems we are all kind of stuck with eating the same stuff over and over again for infinity.

     

    Here’s the response as it should be.

     

    “Yeah, that’s right.”

     

    Now Gundry wrote a book on this.  He can’t just come out and say “Yeah, thats right” and get famous.   There’s no money in that and its an exceptionally small book if that’s all there is to it. But despite that all of our arguments that food tastes great and our system is the best and “can I make a peanut butter, kale, smoothie, chia birthday cake with paleo frosting?”  it’s still true.

    Look,

     

    Eating shit makes you feel like shit.  Eating shit makes your body function like shit.   

     

    Now nobody else writes like  that so I just did. In fact the food we eat also eats like shit. The stuff we spray on our plants and food isn’t great either and very very few of us actually hunt and gather the majority of our food anymore.

    Nor could we.

     

    The authors and all the proponents of this life changing, “get control of your body and change your world” have a business to run.  They can’t just come out and call you fat and lazy and seriously, I can’t either. But if you are trying to change your life, such as my baby brother no longer walking with a cane and feeling like he just slept with an  Indonesian Sunbear – type changes – its going to take some serious moves. Cutting out gluten on the odd numbered weekdays aint gonna cut it.

     

    Just try it – experiment on yourself – that’s human nature and a line I say daily in my clinic – “you need to become your own best doctor – it’s your body.”

     

    Or you can just say screw it, there is no way I’m giving up bread and milk and peanuts it’s just too damn important in my life.  You can always go the route of “I’ll just take the pill for whatever I have and then take a pill for what that pill’s side effects are and then another for that one’s…” on and on forever – If that’s your route –  then 2 things:

     

    1. You’re in trouble
    2. This is the wrong website for you

     

    I hate to throw my dad out here but he’s had amazing results playing with some of this stuff – He did the whole life challenge and lost something like 35 lbs in 8 weeks.  He felt and moved and looked better. His skin issues started to clear.  But it was torture for him.. He couldn’t wait to be done with the 8 week challenge to get back to the shit that was making him feel like crap.  He’s probably the smartest man I know but he’s not in the right place for this kind of thing. He doesnt want someone telling him what to do.

    But maybe you do…Or maybe you’re close.  OR – maybe I’m just going to plant a seed in your brain and the idea is there if you or a loved one needs it someday.  I’m just hoping to make you aware here.

     

    My idea?   If you try something and it has “miracle drug” type effects then it’s probably something worth internalizing and just learning from.   My dad example – His eczema went away with dropping milk but he’ll try to sneak in other dairy because damn man, he loves ice cream and cheese.

      

    Lectin removal?   I’m going to try this stuff because I love the way I feel and the more I experiment with this stuff the more I start to really feel it – almost with each meal.  I’ll not lie and tell you it’s easy – I still love a rum and coke on occasion and I still like a pizza with friends so at this point in my life I’m not on the train hardcore as a lifestyle change – BUT.   a HUGE BUT – I am pretty straight as an arrow with these changes for 6 days at a time and I don’t slack off more than one meal in a row because I feel like crap –

    The changes I’ve felt are amazing!

     

    On this note – I don’t really have an issue I’m trying to erase from my life either.  I don’t have skin issues, I don’t have arthritis, i dont have brain fog – I just want to look my best naked, be strong and live to be 120.  If I needed the ammo for an issue, I want to know where it is and how to use it.

     

    That’s why I bring it up.   That’s why I push you to look into it and see if its your brand of ammo.

    I think as we all get older and try to become wiser the old adage “know thyself” pertains to so many different aspects – I guess those Buddha’s and philosophers really were on to something – “know thyself’ in your business, in your relationships, in your emotional and brain game and know thyself in your body and health.

     

    It is all too easy to just ignore the fact that coffee makes me explode every morning and somehow I just accept that as normal.    DUDE! Coffee is not good for me – for like 2 years my body has been screaming this to me. I just love caffeine in the morning and conveniently blow off my body’s terrible OVER reaction for a quick jolt.    Experience makes students of us all? Hardly – we just take in whatever we want, listen to what we want to hear and ignore or justify what we don’t.

    Here’s just another call out to actually listen for a change and to try new stuff.  New stuff, so you have new information and therefore can make better decisions. Better your life!  

     

    That and because this stuff is the future of health care – 100 years from now this will be standard stuff.   Just like we now know cigarettes aren’t actually calming and good for you and a little cocaine in your cola probably isn’t a benefit.    This whole food thing was common knowledge 10,000 years ago and it will come back around again- it IS the future – those of us doing the future of medicine right now are just ahead of the game!

     

  • Soccer, Made EASY, for the Typical American

    Soccer, Made EASY, for the Typical American

    soccer47

    (podcast available at BeAwesome365 and I’m a better voiceover than a writer.) 

    I coach kids soccer and have for a few years now.  

    I LOVE my teams and, for the most part, love my parents, that are piled along the sidelines screaming and cheering for their kids.  

    Last season, I had more than a few parents who assured me they didn’t understand the game. I often hear the parents (on the far sideline from me) instructing their kids to do the wrong technique or skill.   They are missing a vital element of the sport, which keeps them from enjoying sports at a higher level.

    First off, Your kids love soccer, and it may be the #1 BEST sport for kids.   “You kids get out there and run after the ball for an hour. That’ll tire you out.”

    The way I coach, we don’t practice a lot.  My players are into multiple sports and extra activities, and my wife and I have decided MORE is not better.   Be a kid; try it all.  But because of this, I teach my kids to hack the game.  Understanding accelerates learning.

    A bit of understanding speeds the advancement of the kid’s skills and enjoyment of a beautiful game (soccer is actually known as “the Beautiful Game.”)   Often, this enjoyment is handicapped by a misunderstanding of the sport itself. 

    Add to it hyper-excited parents wearing “parent goggles” demanding their kid gets a fair shake at life.

    This leads to terrible advice from the sidelines, a confused look on the kid’s faces, and way too many prematurely balding coaches throwing clipboards.

    This is not unique to soccer.  My kids also play baseball, softball, football, surf, and do Ninja warrior stuff, plus a hundred other things, and even I am guilty of being that dad that will sometimes, in the heat of excitement, shout out, “GO!” at the exact time he should have stopped while I’m out there cheering for my kid.

    The problem is, there are often times in all sports where “GO” is a terrible idea and sabotages the plan.

    Example:   Just last night, I was at my daughter’s softball game where every single parent, one coach, and even the dugout mom yelled, “Go!” when a third baseman bobbled a ball.  My daughter had just stolen third, and the catcher gunned it to the third baseman, who dropped the ball as the slide came in.

    Everyone yelled, “GO, GO, GO HOME!”

    Are you not sure of my point?

    Exactly.  

    The point is, that’s really terrible advice…all the kid at third had to do was pick up the ball and throw it home.  Science has proven a thrown ball travels much faster than a running kid.  Thus an Easy out and lousy play.   

    The teaching of poor techniques and poor understanding.

    Nowhere is this more obvious than soccer.  I guess being born in the US just predetermines us to be oblivious to how the sport works.  That multiplied by, “I’m not really sure what’s going on out there..”

    So leave it to me to fix this, just like I do for my kid’s teams and the parents every fall and every spring, all over again.

    And I can fix this easily – as soccer is the most straightforward sport in the world to understand.  Indeed, Because of this seemingly inexplicable lack of understanding – last season, I put together a little

    “Soccer for Parents” Handbook.

    In addition to being able to annoy your friends at work with your professed soccer knowledge, it will make you better soccer parents.   As now, you will actually be yelling out correct things to your kids.

    Making better soccer parents is my #2 Bolded headline at the beginning of the season.    I grew up a coach’s kid, and I’m a long-time sports practitioner; nothing is more embarrassing and sad than the sports mom that doesn’t have a clue as to what her kids have been doing for the last 9 years.

    Don’t be that mom that just stands, claps, and cheers -then whispers to the person on her left, “What just happened?”

    Don’t be that dad that says, “back in junior high, I played soccer for a week in PE…here’s what I think they should do.”

    Concept #1  – soccer really is one of the easiest sports in the world to understand.  

    As of the completion of today’s article, you can no longer say, “I just don’t understand soccer.”

    The rules go like this:

    When Ball goes in a goal, it’s a point.   That’s all; the entire article; is finished, done, and straightforward.

    Well, ok, there’s this…The team in blue goes this way, and the team in red goes that way.

    If the ball goes out of bounds, you throw it back in.

    Now here’s where it gets a little crazy.   So stay with me here.

    2) There are positions.

    Now, this isn’t unique.   In fact, every team sport I can think of has positions.  I’m not sure why this is so difficult for soccer parents, but it’s the most obvious mistake I see while watching parents when I should be watching their kids.

    You see, some players should be trying to move the ball towards the opponent’s goal and score, and there are ALSO POSITIONS that are set up to keep the other team from scoring.  There are also positions, specifically made to play a kind of in-between. A “do-it-all” pass it here or there, help out on defense, and just sort of figure out what’s happening and make it work.

    As in most sports, they can collectively be broken down into offense and defense.

    AND…The go-between guy I was speaking about is called “mid-field.”

    So please quit telling your kid to “take the ball and score” when that’s not his position.

    I tell my 8-year-olds, “There are two ways to win at soccer.”

    1. Score more goals.
    2. Don’t let the other team score.   Both are equally important.

    Let me share a concept that helped clear this up this season.  Especially to the parents!

    We know football here in Texas, so we’ll start with that.  I am going to use Elite NFL football and start making comparisons.

    The kids liked this analogy, as football is big-time in Texas.  They just “got it,” and they all laughed, and the parents nodded in a “lightbulb above the head eureka moment” of comprehension.

    For instance – are you aware that Tom Brady doesn’t actually “catch” most of his own touchdowns?     

    It’s true -and yet, despite having only 2 or 3 catches for TDs IN HIS LIFETIME, he is still quite famous AND financially stable.     It seems that the majority of what has made him the most popular football player in history on the planet is his ability to pass the ball.    To see the entire field and pass the ball where it should go.   (also see football cheat sheet) 

    In soccer, it’s the same – the ability to pass is an under-taught, underappreciated, and often neglected skill. Not because coaches don’t know, but because parents don’t know.    You’re not trying to sabotage the game. You’re just looking at it wrong.    Nobody argues that Tom Brady doesn’t score the touchdown, right?   Yet, we all know he didn’t catch the pass that scored.   

    Yet, this is where Americans get it so wrong.

    Have you ever told your kid you’ll give them $5 if they score?

    I tell my players, “Tell your parents you’ll take $3 every time you set up a score.  Kid, you’ll make a lot more cash.”

    I hear my parents often shout, “Take the ball and score, ” and all kinds of shouts of “Shoot!  Shoot it!” despite being on the wrong part of the field and no matter how many opponents are running directly at or guarding them.   Kicking the ball into the other team’s wall of shins hardly ever works, even in little kids’ games, but man, do we all get excited when they get close!

    Hardly ever do I hear shouts of, “Pass it to that poor kid standing all alone in front of a goal the size of the garage door that has upwards of a 99% percent chance of scoring even if he totally whiffs and the ball just bounces off any body part!”    

    But that’s what we say and think as coaches.    All the time.

    That’s what the elite, the college players, and the pros do.  They run plays and set up good opportunities.

    If you get this concept down, This “passing wins every single game EVER concept” – as a parent or youngster playing the game, you immediately move up to the upper echelon.   Passing made Tom Brady.   It can make your kid too.

      I see an insanely high amount of time spent on ball handling, skills and moves, and cool YouTube tricks of exceptional foot skills, but I don’t see much time spent just watching the game.  Play the odds. Kids are like labradors; they run to the ball. If 7 players are running after you because you have the ball, you did a great job – that means someone is unguarded. Directly. Over. There.    Get the ball to her!

    Typically at the end of the year, many coaches have a sort of awards banquet party.

    The kid that scored the most wins “the golden boot.”    That kid is typically not the best player.  Nope, the best player is the kid that gets the golden boot the ball.  “That player” is typically called the MVP.

    Concept #3.  Soccer isn’t boring because it is low scoring.

    Soccer is tough.  There’s a goalie right there who can use his hands.  A goal is unbelievable. But there is much more beauty and skill happening outside of goals being scored.

    As football fans, we go nuts over a huge pass where a receiver jumps 11 feet in the air and makes a one-handed catch!  Even when it wasn’t for a touchdown but for, let’s say, a 5-yard gain.   We go insane when our team sacks the QB for a ten-yard loss or a game-winning pass breakup. 

    Basketball has no look; behind-the-back passes and defensive blocks – BLAM! 

    Baseball has the gravity-defying diving catch for a foul ball and a stolen third base that spills beers across the stands.   

    Hockey enjoys the monster checks into the boards and the goalie that is so fast you missed it!

    These are equally “crazy exciting, ” yet every example given does not change the score.

    Heck, my kids scream like it’s the fourth of July if they get a plastic water bottle to flip in the air and land on its bottom.  Dude Perfect has made millions of dollars flipping bottles to land on their cap! “AHHH DUDE…DIDYOUSEETHAT!!??? AHHH!!

    Soccer has the exact same things happening.    Ankle breaker moves, fake out passes, stop and goes and long bombs down the sideline, leaving the defenders scrambling like it’s the Chicago Fire and the goalie quite possibly peeing in his pants a little.  

    Add that oldie but goodie, “Offense wins games, but DEFENSE wins championships!”

    It’s all right there happening, yet, as American soccer watchers…we miss it. It’s nothing if it’s not a goal.  We call It boring.

    OH, COME ON!

    Get a little FE (false enthusiasm) up in there and get excited already.   Make your kids want to try a “stop and go” and step over fake shot. As a fan, Stand up in slow motion replay excitement when a big arching pass goes high in the air with a huge curvy bend, and your little girl catches the ball, WITH HER FOOT…HER FREAKING FOOT, like Odell with a sticky glove.   That’s excitement y’all!!

    It’s up to you to create it and feel it.

    The rest of the world does!

    I’m 100% sure most of my parents look at each other with confused eyes when, as a coach, I lose my mind in excitement and cheering and run down the sideline when one of my kids does some cool soccer concept -like a backward (negative) pass or a 1-2  (like a give and go in basketball) even when it doesn’t score.  Because that means they are developing, they are learning, they are creating!!

    I love it when my defense just absolutely shuts the other team down.   I have a pizza party if our team doesn’t allow a shot against them. (it’s happened…a lot!)

    Can you imagine in basketball if your opposing team took zero shots???   That’s not boring!!

    Let me just make soccer super easy for you right now.  Soccer is virtually identical to basketball, WITH just a bigger field and more players.

    For instance…take a negative pass.  This is where a player passes the ball back to a teammate because there are no options available where they are.

    This is a considerable development for American soccer kids; it’s a challenging concept. Especially for American parents.   “Wrong way, Wrong way!!!”   

    It’s not.  In essence, it is no different than a center in Basketball passing the ball back outside to a guard at the three-point line because the inside is congested.  It’s simply a reset; it’s. “Let’s take another look at the field with less pressure and work our way in again.”

    My friend Joe Casey relates that when he started refereeing and a team would drop a ball back, Parents would inevitably start screaming, “NO!   THAT’S THE WRONG WAY, WRONG WAY!”

    It drove him nuts.  Parents…Don’t be such a noob. That’s how you play the game!

    The new techniques and developments are what is fun about the game.  It’s the same as a no-look pass in hoops or a sack in football. It IS THE COOL PART of the game.  It takes a lifetime to get down. Even the world’s best pros will never master it all!

    #4   speaking of basketball.  

    Let me get this out there.   If you know hoops, you know soccer.  (see also basketball cheat sheet) 

    We already spoke about the negative pass, but I’m telling you – everything matches.  It’s nearly an identical sport, and this concept really helps parents and kids “get it.”

    Bring the ball down the court.  Sometimes slow and controlled, with one main guy taking his time, running predetermined “plays” and changing positions based on that play.  Sometimes, fast break big passes down the sideline trying to catch the other team being lazy or caught out of position.

    In both sports, the main “play” is to attack from the outside to the inside, where the biggest, tallest kid  (or the kid with the best-developed skills) will put in the hoop. But occasionally, you may pass in from the top of the key to the inside.  You have to work your way in there.

    To get there, you might set screens, run two or three passes, pick and roll or give and go’s.

    Sometimes your going to set up outside and pop the long-range ball.  A three-pointer in hoops is a 40-footer in soccer.

    The big mistake I see in youth soccer is in front of the goal.  It gets too crowded and too congested.

    My wife has 100 pictures of 5 of our team’s kids lined up in front of the other team’s goal, with 7 of the other team’s kids right up in there with them, trying to keep it out.  Every parent and coach is screaming, “KICK IT IN!/ “KICK IT OUT!” and there is ¾ of all the players from both teams standing so close together I could put a hula hoop around them.

    Just like basketball.  Last night on the NBA game, I heard the announcers point out the same concept.  6 players in the paint = no baskets.   “Bill, that was ugly; it’s too congested in the paint; these players are pros; they need to take it out and reset it. They are better than this.”

    It’s really similar. Same concepts.

    In the younger kid’s game, there are fewer three-pointers and long balls because their skills have not gotten to that point yet.   So yeah, the stuff you see on TV won’t work for the kid’s game.

    In both sports. Actually, in most sports -especially during the younger years, often it’s just the best kid on the team taking it all and doing it all on his own.   

    On my soccer team, some kids are just a bit more developed and “into the game.”    On my kid’s basketball team, there is that one kid who is a standout and scores half the team’s points.    So yeah, get that kid the ball. But by no means think that is how we want to coach it or view it as the game develops and they get older and obtain more skills.   At first, getting a kid to pass the ball when the other team is running a press is a HUGE accomplishment.

    The ability to dribble with both feet, look up, and develop a strategy based on things that happen takes experience and time – These concepts “go forward” in all sports.  But by high school, there should be some quick one-two-three passing, three-pointers, and some kids ripping the ball when left unguarded.

    If you know hoops, you know soccer.  

    See?  I Told you you knew this sport.

    Concept #5  Soccer has a secret code.

    Because the powerhouses of soccer are not here in the good ole USA, but in Europe and South America, you need to speak the code.   Soccer coaches and, OH GOD, hardcore soccer fans are just a little peculiar and love the shroud of mystery and intrigue.  They love,  more than anything else, to annoy their non-soccer friends and colleagues.   

    I equate this to my Mexican-speaking friends, specifically Steve Tijerina, whom, when I ask, “how do you say ___ in Spanish?”  Immediately puts on a tough accent and verbalizes in lightning speed, “cuuumpleasnos?”

    Me:  “What was that?  I didn’t catch it all.  Slow it down the first time, please.”

    Steve:  “Esteban tiene cumpleaaaaaannnnnyyyooos” (but crazy fast)

    Me:  “uh..again?”   

    Steve:  “PowPow”

    Me:  “C’mon, Steve, help me here….bah, just write it down.”

    Steve, “I’m busy, gotta run… sucka!!”

    Agh!!!     I’m pretty positive Steve has been making up stuff for 2 decades around me.

    Anyway…

    Soccer fans are weird.  And they like it that way.  Even American soccer fans take on the European soccer terminology because, well…they’re soccer fans; THEY love to be different.

    Here are a few trade secrets.  Remember, primarily European. Down here in Texas, we have WAAAY more terms to learn because of our connection to the Mexican League, but this article is dragging on long enough; let’s stick to the basics.

     

    Shoes are often called boots.  “Tie your shoes” would thus be translated, “Lace your boots.”

    The score zero = nil.

    Sidelines = touchlines

    The field is called the pitch

    Refs are often called officials

    Teams are clubs

    Tournaments are called cups

    The rest of the world calls soccer football.  As in FC, after a lot of teams’ names. Football Club

    Often there is no championship game – you just play everyone and keep track of wins and losses, and at the end of the season, the team with the best record wins….unless .. they are tied in wins and losses after an entire 50-game season.

    And it ALWAYS ends in a tie due to some crazy contract with the soccer gods of antiquity.

    So when it inevitably does end in a tie,  you go by a tiebreaker that soccer weirdos call a “goal differential”  – how many goals did you score vs. how many did you let in.

    See?  Insight!  That’s why the coach is so crazy about only getting beat 0-2 vs. 0-4 or why when your kid’s team is up 6-0, the crazy coach loses his mind when he gives up a goal in the last 30 seconds AND why the weakest kid on the team NEVER gets to try goalie even when it’s a blowout.

    See?  It all makes sense now.    It’s easy.

    OK – I’m done with part 1 – everything I’ve just gone over was for the parents.  That’s all you need to know.  You can stop now.  

    Part 2 is for the intrigued.   So, If you want a bit more, by all means…. proceed to the other article as 

    Part 2 is about the GAME.  

    The professionals, the big time, the million-dollar athletes.

    You can find part 2 here….(coming soon)

    Chad Peters is the author of “Parenting from Out of Bounds”  a parenting book using humor and sports to create a philosophy of fun and awareness.  Coming soon.

    Follow his wonderful family at TheTexasZooCrew (fb) and TexasZooCrew (Insta)

  • “Honey, If You’re Going to Buy Shoes, Make Sure They Fit.”

    “Honey, If You’re Going to Buy Shoes, Make Sure They Fit.”

    cmon man

    This was my mom’s advice today as my dad and I headed out the door.    See- he forgot his golf shoes in S. Dakota so we had to stop and buy some before we hit the links.

    I paused.  I mean that’s perhaps the most obvious and strangest statements I’ve ever heard.  Seriously, top 10 for sure.   I went back in the house and looked at her and she was just washing some dishes and playing with the kids and thought nothing of it.  She didn’t seem even the slightest bit “off” or loony.  She didn’t even look up and now I feel a little guilty about going back in to check and see if she was all right.  I was worried for a second. “Maybe this is it” I thought, “Mom’s started losing her marbles and will soon start talking about the good old days like they’re happening right now or have a serious conversation with the cat or something.”

    “Mom!”  I shouted, “What the hell was that advice. Seriously?  Make sure they fit?  What’s he going to do? Buy three sizes too small?”

    Now this is how I get to today’s article.  Because I hope each of you have someone like this in your lives – moms, dads, guardians, uncles, aunts, BFF’s… whatever.   I hope you each have someone to look up to and chuckle about, not because of crazy statements like, “make sure they fit.”  Bit, if you just step back, just one step, for a better perspective,  you’ll realize the utter genius of it all.

    “If you buy shoes make sure they fit” isn’t crazy or even really that weird.

    It’s genius. Squared. 

    Genius squared.  That’s my term and I look for it in my life. Feel free to use it whenever you’d like.  I wish I had more of it.  Genius to the second power consists of a perfect summary of any situation without all the extra dialogue and bullshit.    Pretty much dead on-balls accurate.   My wife is amazing at this technique and as I age I find my parents are as well.   My hypothesis is that it’s actually quite rampant in parenting and that many parents are in fact, quite adept at this subtle but extremely accurate effect.     We, as the sons and daughters, are just so certain we’re so much smarter than our parents we often miss it.

    I find myself most birthdays calling my parents and just reassuring them they were right.  “Right about what hon?” –

    “All of it mom. Most all of it.”

    You see, mom never for a second meant, “Honey, pick the right size.”  That’s obvious and if she had to remind me stupid obvious stuff like that as an adult or God forbid my dad as a full-on grown ass man, the battle would have been lost decades ago.  We would have died crossing the street having failed to indeed, look both ways.  She loves us and is still here with us so obviously that’s not the problem.    She doesn’t think we’re stupid.  No, she was just being concise and to the point.  Her one sentence summary should be decoded for us still stuck in the Neanderthal days of “communication” as…

    “Dear Husband/son.. the last few times you’ve bought shoes you looked in the shoe and looked and the anterior portion of the tongue to re-establish that indeed, they are the correct size.  Good work caveman.  Now, try them on.  My recollection and experience tells me that the last few tries have been fails, not due to actual printed shoes size but because of other, less obvious issues.   Perhaps the arch or the snugness or the style or the color or the squeeze or the drop or the way the cleats fit or any and all of the other dozens of problems that have made them not the correct shoe for your purchase, DESPITE the correct size.  You have spent, more or less, $500 dollars in the last few years on shoes that have not fit and actually brought you misery, despair and discomfort.  You have wasted time and money on shoes that did not actually fit at all but had the size as their only redeeming factor.    I, being mom, have had vast eons of experience both personally and as your (spouse/mother) and I feel it is my duty to at least offer you advice based on your previous shortcomings.   Alas, I am indeed your (spouse/mother) and will allow you to continue to make the same mistake until you fix the error of your ways as we all learn at different speeds.  Know that I love you, I just wanted to throw you a clue to help you on your struggle with footwear (and various other LIFE issues).”

    See the genius?  She doesn’t have to say all that stuff because she’s slept in the same bed as this man for the last 47 years and she definitely doesn’t have to say it to me because she wiped my ass for years when I couldn’t.  My mom GETS us.  She gets us to such a degree she can get away with saying stupid shit and the reality is it makes sense.  Not only makes sense but is correct and even  – great advice.

    I golfed horribly today.   My dad golfed horribly today and the worst part is we even rubbed off on the guy that invited us out as our play was so horrible he couldn’t help but be sucked into the black hole of sand traps and tree shots we brought to our threesome.   But I have to be honest with myself.  I was distracted, for as I saw my mom smile knowingly at her sound advice as we walked out the door and try hard not to give me the “Duhhh” eye roll I couldn’t help but realize how damn smart and prudent her advice is and I think really it all just caught up to me a little this afternoon.  I thought about this the entire round.

    How much stuff have I overlooked in my life that was simple easy advice that I just blew off as obvious but was truly much deeper and sound advice?

    Be nice to your friends.

    Make sure you love her.

    This is a great time in your life.

    Treat your brother better.

    Money won’t make you happy.

    Try your Hardest.

    You are tired, go to bed.

    This could go on and on but you get the point.    Its Genius. Squared.  Deep and profound but obviously simple and concise.   And true.    Mom, I know I say this to you over and over but seriously.  You were right.

  • “Oh?” And other Fantastic Advice from Grammy V.

    Not the real Grammy V

    “Oh?”

    The people my age, “My Generation,” often counterintuitively slow our abilities to learn because we are fairly positive that we are the enlightened ones. As any of you that graduated in the 1990s, up and through about 2005, already know, we are the most brilliant generation there has ever been.   Just ask us.

    This isn’t just some random idea that some blogger dude writing from his breakfast bar made up, either.  There is evidence.  The advent of the Internet happened when we were in our most influential years of our lives.  So aside from all the great music and clothes, living through the change of “how to find” and access all the information planet earth has ever seen, yet also knowing that it wasn’t always this way, has made us all-powerful.  We are the transition generation, and I think largely because of this, “We know a better way.”  For everything. And we’re not at all shy about telling you.

    Sorry parents.  Oh yeah, and sorry, kids.  And students, plane seat neighbors, innocent passersby, and anyone else unfortunate to come across us.   Yeah.  We ruined social media.  It was us.  

    One hundred percent certain that our way is the right way, and if we can just yell loud enough and present enough “facts,” surely everyone will fall into our way of thinking.  Do you think politics are bad now?  Just wait until you see the next generation of “one way to rule them all!”

    But doesn’t that all just come to a screeching halt when we get some sound advice from somebody much wiser and often older than us?

      The Yodas from the generations before us. 

    Our parent’s generation?  Hell No!   We’ll never listen to you guys.  I’m talking about the people who lived through the Great Depression, not the Oil Embargo of gas prices at 75 cents and a World War that changed the face and borders of countries, languages, alliances, and the economic landscape of the planet.   (sidebar.   I’m not knocking my parent’s generation.  It’s a scientific fact that kids physically and emotionally CAN NOT listen to nor heed any advice from their parents. – I’m watching this play out in real-time with my kids.   You could have at least warned us.) 

    Nope, Grandparents.  The OG’s.   Grammy V was one of these.   

    Wise.  

    She didn’t have a doctorate degree and half of the alphabet after her name on business cards; heck, she didn’t have business cards.   That kind of stuff didn’t impress her.   She didn’t blindly trust that doctors were more intelligent just because of a dozen extra college years.   She trusted what she knew.  She didn’t talk a lot.  

    Oh, she’d ask questions to see what I thought about stuff.

    At the time, I thought she wanted my advice… “Here’s how you do this.”   

    I can see now she was just testing me to see if I was evolved enough to even have a rational discussion with her.  

    This WW2 generation talking to their grandkids is similar to the discussion of Aliens not wanting to communicate with Earthlings because they are watching our planet to see when we’ve evolved enough to “NOT try to dissect and KILL their ambassadors!” 

    Grammy Viersen could say more with one word than I can with an online platform.

    So I’m going to share something I should keep to myself.   My insider information from someone much more intelligent than me.   I learned a lot with her, and often while visiting her ranch, would stay up late into the wee hours of the morning going over something she said in passing.  Mind-blowing stuff. 

    She told Nikki and me that arguing is the planet’s most significant waste of time.   Political debates, social media rants, what food tastes better, how to look at money…a waste.   “One side wants what?  A win? There is no win.  It’s just a bunch of noise and turkeys puffing out their chests.   When I speak to someone that starts arguing or debating, even when I know they are wrong, I just say, “Oh?” with a question mark at the end.  That either stops it, or they just think I agree.  There is no arguing, nor is there even a volley return with which they can do anything.   It just ends, and we move on.”

    “Oh?”

    It’s lifechanging.

    This comes up as I was thinking about a friend and her 5th-grade son.  

    Like all good fifth-grade boys, Luke wanted with all his heart for school to end early for summer vacation.  I think he was misinformed, mixed up, or possibly, like kids that age, fooled by expectation, imagination and hope.    He had told my friend Jackie, his mom, the wrong day for the end of school.  He was 100% confident he knew, and she was 100% sure he was wrong.   Poor Jackie was not about to be shanghaied and fooled by her middle child.   It turned into a mess.   A dozen text threads, group chats, calls to principles and superintendents, and social media questions.  

    It eventually worked out, but she and Luke went back and forth for a few hours on this, both trying to prove their points like a 1990s courtroom drama at the Century theaters, “You can’t handle the TRUTH! (dramatic fist pound.)  

    Here’s the point.   

    A few hours.   Text threads.  Posts.    Debate.   It’s exhausting, and nobody gets further down the road.

    Do you know what would have worked here?  A simple “Oh?” and we’re moving on.  I’ll pick you up when school ends.

    Trump is the best President.  “Oh?”

    Here’s what you have to do immediately upon arriving at Disney World? “Oh?”

    Here’s how you tie a fishing hook.  “Oh?”

    Trump is a monster! “Oh?”

    Gas prices rise because (fill in the blank.)   “Oh?”

    And especially for all facts/idiocrasy/click clickbait’s/help/nutritional advice on all social media platforms.  Especially the ones trying to piss you off, dad.  Stop commenting and writing them back.   That’s why they wrote them!  

    And on and on for infinity.  

    You’re welcome for the extra 300+ hours a year you’ve been looking for.  That and the one less ulcer and headache because of stupid stuff.

  • When a dream lets you LIVE again…

    Every Fall,  1000’s of football players show up for “Fall Camp” at college campuses across the country.   I tend not to really get into the hype anymore, it’s been a long while.

    Still, I sent a letter to my former coach today. (I played college football at South Dakota State.)

    Coach Stig is still there, leading the Jacks to great seasons and successful incredible changes.   Some things resonate and I thought I’d share the letter I sent him.

    jack

    Coach, I know its busy time or you but I wanted to share something.  Maybe I do this every year, this all seems so familiar…

    I had an amazing dream last night involving Jackrabbit football.  This happens much more infrequently now but it seems to still happen every year during fall camp.

    In the dream, as usual, I had a chance to play again.  Be it some NCAA fluke of eligibility or magic or just the power of dreamland, I was on the bus on the way to the game.   I knew immediately and instinctively exactly where I was and what was going on.   I have talked to a lot of former players about this.  It is common.  We all still dream about our college football career, some of us, 30 years later!

    Again, It’s dreamland, so things are weird in aspects.   The team bus was loaded up and I knew we were headed to a big game.  I was ripped up into the air and carried throughout the city faster than a movie in 10x speed.  All of Brookings was shown to me as if carried by an angel – the dorms, the stadium, 6th street, the house me and 6 other Jacks players lived – whatever and wherever I wanted to see.  Then across the plains I was swept –  over Rivers, Lakes and the hills of northern South Dakota.

    I knew I was headed to Fargo.    I whipped through the town, the old brick buildings, movie theater marquee, seeing all the gold and green (not happy about it but excited at the same time) and was set down, standing directly in front of the stadium.

    I walked past the girl taking tickets like a ghost, she didn’t even look up and I walked into the arena straight ahead  and down the corridor in front of me into the arena, hopped the fence and proceeded onto the field.

    Even in the dream, I could feel the stadium.  The way a football field is ALIVE.  Once I crossed the threshold of the white line and was on the actual field, it’s a different feeling…The smells of 20 years of games and sweat, the metallic energy taste of the crowd and lights.   And the colors.

    The colors, true to real life – are more amazing, vivid and true with football than at any other time in my life.  The only day that is even close in my life is the day after my first child was born.  The day my son was born I remember walking the dog around the block as usual and the world just appeared different somehow. Similar to Polarized lenses in sunglasses maybe.   I think all of us as dads have felt that before, just life I guess, Life fine tuned and dialed in.

    The flow.

    Football has imprinted a sensation and colors into my psyche like that.   I can, at any time -still take myself back to the first time I ever ran down a kickoff in college, my first time live in a game. The magical, slow motion of it all.  The colors, the clouds and sky, the band and fans are imprinted into my being.   I can smell the grass!

    My first start was that way too.  I still get chills when I hear the song that played on the speakers during my first start as a linebacker for the Jacks.  I had never heard the song before and it “attached” itself to me.

    This dream was like that.  – dreamlike no doubt but fantastically so.  Vivid beyond high def, 1080 or 4K!

    So here’s how it went, with this fantastic feeling of being MORE ALIVE …I went into the locker room, my pads were set out and Oh My God!, my helmet – just to hold it again made me shudder.  I held it for sometime, just letting the sensation of the paint and sticker and hardness, drip into my fingertips.  Soon, I was suited up.  I felt good – probably like a Ferrari on the open highway, ready to run fast, hit big, smile lots and soak it all in.  To smile and nod to my teammates-It’s been 20 years since I last felt this and I had been waiting so long.   What a rush.  I can’t describe the next minutes very well.  There just aren’t words enough for those of us lucky enough to know the feeling.  You just don’t know unless you’ve done it before.

    To walk out of the locker room and  into the stadium and feel the energy, hear the noise and smell the remnants of fireworks was just so great of an experience that even as I drifted awake I just lay there enjoying it.

    See this is the point of me writing you one of my dreams.

    Because coach, I never get to play – (I’ve talked to other former players…not playing, this is a common dream.)

    It’s my birthday today and although another year around the sun, I continue to feel younger and stronger.  I have a great life – it hasn’t been all downhill since I played.  I am extremely blessed with a life of travelling, family adventure and LOVE.  Playing football was a great fantastic thing I am extremely proud to have been a part of  it but I’d be lying and ashamed if it was the pinnacle of my life.

    I spent 5 birthdays at SDSU in the midst of fall camp.  Tired, sore and beat up.

    Yet, for the most part,  all through a great time of my life- I failed to really grasp just where I was.  I was looking to the future, to game day or to my girlfriend or to a coach’s decision of depth chart.  Whatever it was, it always seemed to be going too fast, I missed the NOW.  Or If I did live it, it was fleeting and fast.

    Now 20 years later, It’s the THEN that returns to take me away in dreamland.

    Even in my dreams I never get to play.  I can’t find a shoe or I don’t have a chin strap or I sit on the bench.  I have yet to ever see and single snap on the field in 20 years of thinking and dreaming about football.   The last game of my life was the last time I ever felt that rush and that particular thrill and I wish I would have known just how important that was going to be.

    I recall, in an embrace, You asking me if I was satisfied as I walked into the locker room for the last time in my life and I told you, “I was.”

    But it was a lie.  Even my subconscious still chases the feeling.

    I loved what I did and where I played. I just wish I had been fortunate enough to realize how sweet of a flavor it was.  And just how much it would be missed when it was gone.

    Feel free to share this however you wish (or not) or maybe someday have me come and speak to the team again about it – I would like that.  But know that what these boys are going through truly will stay with them forever and will be woven into the fabric of who they are.   Along with the friendships, laughs and parties are the tactile and raw sensations of a game that has a finite ending.  So for those lucky enough to have the experience, hold onto it and drink it all in, in as big of gulps as possible.

    Its not the games that is what lasts.  It the whole… “thing” (I don’t even have a word for it).

    When it’s over, it over.    Make sure you remind those players out there to take a second to Feel the NOW.

  • The Blue Hair Fallacy & The Power of Naming Concepts.

    The Blue Hair Fallacy & The Power of Naming Concepts.

    Recognize the fallacy of general statements and keep your clarity, understanding your own personal truth.

    This is the core of what I call the Blue Hair Fallacy.

    The story, as told by a preacher or minister in an Instagram post, went like this: he approached a member of his congregation and simply said, ‘I just don’t like your blue hair.’ The person, visibly offended, reacted strongly. Yet, they didn’t have blue hair. The preacher’s point was clear: the offense shouldn’t affected this person in his congregation because it didn’t fit for them.

    This person, like so many of us, reacted not to the statement itself, but to the criticism itself even when it didn’t apply.

    The meaning, is know yourself.

    Here’s a practical example: this morning, in the midst of the usual school-run chaos, I mentioned,

    ‘It seems we’re perpetually five minutes late.’ Immediately, my daughter, who had been ready and waiting, retorted, ‘Why are you blaming me? I’ve been ready for ages!’

    This is the Blue Hair Fallacy in action. She knew she wasn’t the cause of our tardiness. She knew she didn’t ‘have blue hair.’ Yet, my general statement triggered a defensive response.

    This phenomenon is far more prevalent than we realize. Social media, with its carefully curated algorithms, amplifies it. The job of social media is not to agree with you; it’s to get clicks. It basically runs an algorithm to say, ‘I want this to really resonate with half of the population and create a strong emotional reaction or offense to the other half.’ That’s how we get clicks and likes.

    My own father, a wise and very well read man, is constantly agitated by posts on his Facebook feed. He can’t resist engaging with content that contradicts his views. It’s the Blue Hair Fallacy playing out on a digital stage. He tells me about stuff that comes across his feet on Facebook. I tell him, “Dad, I don’t care about the stuff on Facebook, especially on your FB. If it doesn’t pertain to me and it doesn’t pertain to you, it’s none of my damn business with these other people think.”

    I see it in social media with other friends of mine, I have even been guilty of it. Often presented as, “i know some of you all don’t like….”

    But unless you’re a celebrity, I just don’t really think that fits. Maybe one or two people mention something but that’s what trolls do. They mention stuff, try to get under your skin. Make you reconsider what you posted and really who cares.

    If it doesn’t apply to you, know yourself and then let it go.

    Look for it in your own life. You’ll find it everywhere. And here’s the key: recognizing it is the first step to liberation.

    If something doesn’t directly pertain to you, or even if it does but lacks real consequence, simply let it go. We live in a world saturated with stress and strife. Our brains, wired to solve problems, latch onto the smallest grievances when larger threats are absent.

    The brain wants to protect!

    Imagine an alien invasion. Suddenly, social media debates and minor slights would fade into insignificance. Real, immediate dangers would take precedence. The mundane and smaller issues that seem to aggravate us in our life are disregarded because it isn’t an immediate threat. That’s just how we are wired. We always have something in our life that needs fixing, despite the fact that we live in probably the safest, healthiest, and best time in human history, we tend to think that these are bad times. This is us. It’s not that there’s an actual problem.

    it’s almost never how things are that bothers us, It’s how we feel things should be.

    My wife and I have discussed this concept for years. When life throws true hardship, petty offenses vanish.

    This morning, the Blue Hair Fallacy became crystal clear. It was a concept I’d seen play out, but never fully articulated. It was like simplifying a complex idea into a three-word philosophy, something I’ve found immensely helpful in my own life.

    This aligns perfectly with my approach to understanding complex ideas. I’ve been doing this subconsciously for years and now, with my website Be Awesome 365 (which, admittedly, has been a bit neglected lately, but this idea felt too important to share), I’m reminded of the power of simplifying concepts.

    In fact, this approach is central to my upcoming book, “Unlocking Athletic Potential.” In athletics, this concept is crucial. When I address my entire team and say, ‘We aren’t playing defense well,’ the player who’s excelling defensively needs to understand the intent of my statement without taking it personally. They must recognize that the general statement doesn’t apply to their flawless performance, much like someone dismissing a ‘blue hair’ comment when they don’t have blue hair. This is the core of effective communication and team dynamics, and it’s a principle I explore in depth in my book.

    So, start noticing the Blue Hair Fallacy in your daily interactions.

    Smile to yourself, knowing you possess the ‘inside secret’ to navigate the noise. It’s a superpower—the ability to choose peace in a world determined to provoke. And perhaps, it’s a superpower we can apply to more than just our social interactions, but to how we approach learning and growth in all areas of life, including unlocking our athletic potential.

    Recognize the fallacy of general statements and keep your clarity, understanding your own personal truth.

  • Being the Sherlock Holmes of Healthcare

    Being the Sherlock Holmes of Healthcare

    sherlock

    This article is going to offer two 5th grade analogies to help with your healthcare self treatment.

    I did a fairly cheesy seminar at the university last week for the athletic trainers and a few of the team docs.  I feel the addition of these simple analogies helped a lot with the understanding of how and why my decision making is done.

    I use analogies in my clinic all the time as it just helps to visualize a lot of information.   The problem with analogies for medical use is they get over simplified to the point that they often offer little value.    Cute Quips like, “Your knees are like car tires and only have 50,000 miles in their lifetime.”

    and “you can never run again after surgery.” – “I hold all my tension up here.” “slipped discs”

    Are straight up stink and are just plain misleading.

    My cheesy analogies however, are different!   Why? Because I made these up, so obviously they are legit..

    Cheesy but effective Analogy #1

    Be like a detective with your health.  

    Seriously, Imagine yourself as a two brim hat wearing, huge magnifying glass holding, British accent , aloof silly detective. It’s called a CLUE.   

    I will take this approach as a doctor often.    I think all good doctors should.

    So should you.

    Look for clues.   What can you use to help yourself with decisions in your health?

    If doing “X” seemed to make the pain 50% better for 3 days?  – wow, that’s a good clue, pay attention.

    Running seems to make it worse?   – now we’re on a path, get out the magnifying glass and ask why…- was it the distance, poor mechanics, could it have been a 50 mph gale and freezing rain in your face and not actually have anything to do with the running.   

    You need to push the envelope here and be smarter –

    Eating the #8 at the drive thru left you feeling like you ate a shoe and you were on the toilet 5-6x the following day?    That’s a clue – this tells you stuff so pay attention here – you are Sherlock Holmes here a classically trained, highly intelligent world class detective.  You’re not Mr. Magoo.

    Now look, you can’t use…”it just feels good” – that’s a misleading clue.  In Agatha Christie novels, often a creepy, evil tempered guy with perhaps a questionable past is one of the neighbors – this guy is always implicated and looked on with the stink eye…but his character is  written in the novel to throw you off the trail. Don’t buy it!

    We use crappy clues all the time in our health and follow the wrong footsteps in the mystery.   Pain is often misleading. “Feel good” is often misleading. Eating a gallon of cookies and creme to drown your sorrows in sugar laden chocolateyness is just not helping.

    Absolutely stretching the hell out of your IT band and lying on a shotput to rollout your quads on your sore legs….agh.

    Which brings me to cheesy but effective Analogy #2 –

    Healthcare Therapy and treatment should often be looked upon as a little kids bike lock.

    bike-lock

    The example meaning:  You can do all the right stuff but if it’s in the wrong order it won’t work/open.   Just like you can put in all the right numbers and the lock still won’t open.

    It needs to be in the correct order.

    I use the bike lock analogy often.  

    In the clinic and in lectures I occasionally take flak for not offering a bunch of exercises and rehab on the initial couple treatments.      This ‘bike lock’ idea is why.

    Because despite doing all the workup and treatment options, if it’s done in the wrong sequence it doesn’t work – or doesn’t work as well as it could.

    Routine real life examples:  For a lot of injuries, the inflammatory complex needs to be taken care of first.   Nothing really heals or starts on the healing process while inflamed.

    This is why I don’t offer exercises right away and typically tell my clients NOT to stretch and roll and exercise a lot immediately on low back pain injuries.

    “Doc, do have any exercises I can do?”

    “Not yet, you’re going to have to get the fire put out first. – You’re just not THERE yet.”

    As a patient, if you are at the inflammatory, “put the fire out” stage,  why would I then offer you exercises that just irritates the whole area again?

    The cart is in front of the horses.    Do this, THEN, this, THEN this – often it may come on the same visit, but in the right order.

    It’s the application of the ideas – the application, the “why” is even more valuable than the idea itself.

    And the One thing I will always have is a “why.”

    It drives my wife nuts, but I have a reason for most everything I do.   If I didn’t have a ‘why’, then for what reason am I doing it?

    Because some dude on You Tube told me too?

    Because it’s what my PE teacher told me back in High School?

    Because your friends told you that what to do?

    It’s just not good enough for me.

    So now we go full circle to the Sherlock Holmes idea again.

    You can often create your own clues or reactions by trying something the guy on YouTube says.  You have to have experience to get the ideas for what works and what doesn’t.

    If YOUTUBE ANDY tells you to roll your quads out and stretch the hell out of your IT band with a ball.  Try it. But be true to yourself…

    Did it help, hurt or no change?     Look for clues!

    Remember you can’t use:

    “It felt good.”  – that’s a poor choice and a liar.   

    Also, You can’t choose, “well it hurt so bad it must be doing something.”

    Aside from that being straight up crazy that’s a poor clue.        

    You can’t use – “I just do the same stuff over and over for months without ever looking up out of the sand because that’s YOUTUBE ANDY and my girlfriends said to do – maybe eventually it will do something.”  

    that’s an actual definition of insanity.

    You can’t use, “that’s what I did back in 97”  – well wait a second, you can.

    You tried something that worked before?  For sure, try it again. But beware, it could be a different issue this go around, so pay attention.  Did it work this time?

    “Oh Chad, This is just all so confusing, you have a BEAWESOME site, just tell me what to do.”

    That’s just lazy doctoring and terrible self treatment and dammit…it’s not good enough – I may not know exactly what you have AND aside from that, you know your own body WAY better than any outside doctor, therapist or well meaning friend.

    I’ll tell you some ideas I have – doctor advice to be viewed as “some ways to make clues.”

    “Ok, how long should all this take?   I’ve been stretching for 3 months now and no help….”

    3 months?  Sigh

    How about 4 applications?  say 4x in a week. Yep, for most non surgical, injury type issues, 4 treatments should give you a clue.  It should be promising and give you a direction if you are headed in the right path.

    Looking for clues and creating scenarios where you can gather information to make better decisions lets you take control over your own health.   

    Just WANTING to get better isn’t enough.  You need to do something, make a decision based on the response and act accordingly.  You need to try stuff and try stuff in a logical order.

    If it doesn’t work, try the opposite.  

    Have you noticed how many of my articles suggest contracting tight muscles, not stretching?  How many use ice not heat on a spasm?

    The “why” is…because I learned from experience.    I stopped doing the same thing over and over because some professor in my past told me that’s what to do.  I paid attention to what worked clinically and what didn’t. Now I even focus on, with nearly as much attention, to what works better.

    I advertise most injuries take 3-4 visits in my clinic.  For resolution. The norm is 3-4 visits per week for 6 weeks.    

    Dude!  There’s a reason!

    Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is a classic definition of insanity!

    I don’t see patients and go immediately to a preconceived treatment plan.  Not only do I not treat every client exactly the same, I rarely do the same treatment on back to back visits.    Maybe I’m not a better doctor. Maybe I’m just a better “body detective.” Or maybe I pay attention to the clues better.   Maybe I put treatment applications in a better order. What I’m certain of is that it’s an ongoing experiment – All I care about is the end result.  Get your life back!

    There’s a chance that this article was just all over the place – maybe the Sherlock Holmes and the Bike Lock analogies would have fit better into two separate articles.  I’m not sure – I’m just all about maximum effect with quick results.

    So I’ll just go ahead and press “publish” on this article as is and then pay attention to the feedback -knowing I’ll be better the next time!  

  • How to have a Perfect Day!

    This Girl is having a really good day. So can you!

    I went to bed last night with the idea of starting my morning out differently than my norm.  As I was nodding off to sleep, I planned to use small changes to create a perfect beginning in turn, setting up the perfect day.

    Even while resting my head on the pillow the night before, I had this mental image of how my day would go.

    So, when my alarm started up 15 minutes earlier than my norm, I knew I was ready to take control of this day and make it everything I envisioned.

    My plan and why I woke up earlier was to surprise my kids and my wife with a fabulous breakfast, so I got everything ready, and when I went to the refrigerator to get out the eggs, I realized we didn’t have any eggs. No problem, I can throw an audible better than anybody. I’ll just get some orange juice ready, and they can just wake up to my plan B. I don’t like to give my kids cereal in the morning often, but they all seem to like it, so I’ll just set up a bunch of different cereal options on the table. I’m going to give the kids a continental style breakfast. Cereal, toast and jam. 

    After setting up a beautiful arrangement with fresh flowers from my garden in a lovely vase, I noticed we didn’t have any milk.

    OK. Cereals are easy to put away and that just takes a minute.  Pancakes it is!  

    Nobody noticed anything; it wasn’t them who planned on having this perfect day. It was me. So no harm, no foul, I’m still in the game.  Things were moving smoothly.

    My nine-year-old still took 15 minutes to get on his shoes. So, just like every day, we were late getting out of the door. On time for us, but the usual, four minutes behind. No biggie. I’m not going to let something small like being a few minutes behind ruin my day.

     I got past that obstacle a few years ago.

    It was obvious the traffic was going nowhere today. An accident must have happened in a construction zone, and our average 7 minute commute would take about 45 minutes today. Cars were back to back all the way to the horizon.

    I adapted to breakfast, and I can adapt to driving conditions. A quick detour and a 2-mile roundabout got us all to school on time.

    Despite my day not starting anything like I thought it would, it wasn’t moving poorly either.

    When heading back to the house, I avoided the construction and traffic jam again. As I walked in the door, I noticed that their lunchboxes were still sitting on the floor by the front door. 

    OK.   Now things are getting a little strained.   Turning and walking back outside, I endured three bee stings.  This is my fault as, a few years ago, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to have a beehive at my house. Four young kids and 20 pets, why not add a beehive?  

    If you are new to my articles please note, as my long-time followers do, that most of my learning lessons in life started as failures. This idea is one of them. Despite having a master plan for my day, I had forgotten that early this morning was when my friend was coming over to move the beehive. They weren’t happy. They let me know about it.

    Now here’s the fun part.

    Like usual, The universe tends to work itself out.

    I had booked extra time off today. I wasn’t going to be a chiropractor until later, so I still had time to get the kids’ lunches to them.

    I loaded up the lunches, pulled out a few stingers and headed out the door when one of my neighbors stopped me. She is a sophomore in high school, and her car wouldn’t start today. She asked if I had jumper cables.

    Of course, I have jumper cables, the problem was I had lent them out a week before, and they hadn’t returned. So instead of jumping her car, I drove her to school. It was completely the opposite direction of where I needed to go to drop off my kid’s lunches, but, as stated, I had a few extra hours to burn today. I had envisioned working on my new book and getting some editing done, but that wasn’t apparently the plan.

    After a pretty relaxing drive to high school, what I consider a practice run for next year when my son starts the big leagues. Then delivering the forgotten lunches to my kids at their schools, I realized, “Hey!  Nice. The accident and construction had cleared up.”

    The bee stings were starting to get a bit sore, but I remember watching a documentary one time about how, if you are not deathly allergic to bees, their stings can be pretty beneficial for the immune system. So, again, chalk it up as a win. I’m boosting my immune system. With nature!

    I’m not going to tell you about my entire day, but I like to start my articles with a story. Suffice to say. Nothing, today, turned out the way I thought it would.  I had new patients not showing up, seminars instead of lunch workouts. Honesty, as silly as it sounds, nearly Every. Single. Thing. I had previously “planned” the evening before…just…“wasn’t.”

    But here’s the thing, earlier in the week, I was listening to a podcast about how we, especially Americans, have our brains mixed up with time. It’s because we feel like if we aren’t being ultra-productive and grinding that we are wasting time. My dad even mentioned to me last week that he hated the idea of “wasted time” while he was visiting.

    “If you’re reading a book, watching a movie, or even watching your kid at a baseball game, you know you could be doing something more productive. People stuck in the grind see that as wasted time, which has a negative connotation. But it’s not. It’s entertainment time, fun time, shared time, relaxation. It is certainly Not wasted!”

    That makes sense, A podcast with Dr. Chatterjee and author Oliver Burkeman of the bestselling “4000 Weeks” agree. Non-production is a time to reboot your body—a time for inflection or possibly even watching clouds and flowers. The brain, body, and soul all thrive with some of that reboot time. Most production specialists will even tell you that having this downtime, a sort of “off the grid” mentally, even boosts productivity when you do get a chance to work and solve problems.

    I saw today as a little bit different, although maybe in a similar context.

    We have three significant words as rules in my family. 

    Jealousy, Comparison and Sharing.

    My kids hear this all the time. They know it as a concept of what we call “Pillars of life.”

    Basically speaking: Jealousy and comparison ruin days and sharing is good.

    So I thought about how my day had turned out, nothing at all like I wanted it to.  But, I wasn’t late for work. Nobody was hurt. Other than me, nobody even had any idea that it wasn’t a perfect day.

    The only stress that I felt was because I was comparing my day with my idea of what a perfect day should be.

    It goes back to our three family rules. It wasn’t a ruined day. It was a comparison. Comparison always wrecks things.

    The awareness of this gave me a different perspective. Also, two significant keywords that I constantly stress to my family.

    My new perspective allowed me to see that I was having a decent day. I could go without bee stings however, I found a new route to school and was successful. My kids will get their lunch, and I got to be a dad.

    I’m still going to get to work on time, and the world will continue even though I kick-started my day with no eggs.

    I had an inspiration for a new article and I’m dictating this to my phone while driving to work today. Instead of listening to a podcast, I’m creating my own. Almost a “passive productivity.”

    So I hope this article doesn’t come off as Clickbait. I know I gave you the switcheroo instead of teaching you how to have a perfect day.

    My hope is that I planted this idea that it’s OK not to be perfect. In fact, the entire idea of perfect is a fallacy.  It’s impossible.  The entire notion and possibly even the word itself. 

    It would be a big stress reliever if it was just gone and probably billions of dollars saved worldwide on mental health, happiness coaching, stress management seminars etc., if we stopped, as a species, holding “Perfect” up as our parameter to meet.

    I thought about this as I was dictating today on my commute. Even as a chiropractor, I realize that this is basically what everybody I have seen in over 20 years, as a patient, is looking for.

    “Hey Doc?”

    What is the perfect pillow?

    What is the perfect pair of running shoes?

    What is the best way to sleep? 

    What is the best stretch for…?

    Stop searching. Find You. Test your own ideas out.

    So do really want to have a perfect day? Or are you OK having a pretty good day?

    I think if you can just acknowledge when things are going right despite them being different than what your initial plan was you’re going to see that much of our life runs exceptionally well. It’s what Matthew McConaughey terms “Green Lights” in his latest book. Acknowledge them. See them. Stop comparing what you have, are doing, or what the universe throws at you to what you hoped was going to happen.

    I think like most of the other 8 billion people on this planet. You’ve got this. 

    You’re doing just fine.

  • Hacking your “Real Age” RLAA- Real Life Adjusted Age

    Hacking your “Real Age” RLAA- Real Life Adjusted Age

    real age

    Tests and Measures to calculate your Age

    This is a big one guys, but it’s about your New You and a New Year.  It’s a test to see how well you’re living or failing to do so. Measurable factors that contribute to how long you’ll live!  

    Men’s Health magazine has an article in the December issue entitled “Your Fitness Age”.  In fact, much of what I will express is from author Michael Easter as a part of this article.  I’m not trying to plagiarize and steal homeboy’s stuff here. I think it is genius and want to bring your attention to it.   I will add my flavor and twist and maybe a couple add on’s that I see greatly influence our true age – much more accurate both positively and negatively.

    This is your new year, your call to reality blurb – you get to make 2019 whatever you want it to be despite anything that happens.  It your reactions to external stimulus that truly shapes our future so It’s time to step up and take the proverbial bull by the horns. (but that really happened!)    You’ll need to either get motivated or keep it going babe because, damn…you look freaking fantastic!

    The idea here is beyond what you see in the mirror however.   Fitness age/True Age isn’t about abs and quickness and the ability to climb your house like a ninja – those are the by-products. Those tangibles are everybody else’s January resolution-type articles.     

    Nope, this is about your MORTALITY, Gulp.  

    We each need to do this, check our own MORTALITY every so often, at least yearly.   Much better than resolution and goals, (link) lets get some data!

    I’m going to use Michael. Easter’s scale as well. This is more than Fitness age, but I love his setup and tools.   It’s fantastic and any push for me to change this by 10% and call it mine is futile – I’ll give him full credit. In fact, just go check out the article for deeper intel.  

    So here you go – how long are you going to live comfortably?  No, it’s even more than that – that’s for old time doctors and mediocre life – This is bigger than that?    

    How long are you going to kick ass at life and drink fully from the cup of incredible?   How is it, that some people see only the sunny side of everything and seem to have awesome following them around like a perfume scent.     Do you still have IT?

    If you’re looking for a little FE this January to get you off your ass?  Here’s the nuts and bolts – you want to BE THERE for your grandkids wedding, but better is to be the old guy cool dude actually dancing, not clapping out of rhythm and not smiling like a buffoon with bushy eyebrows like Uncle Frank on Lampoons Christmas Vacation. That’s not good enough!    Nope,You want to be more like the cool guy from XX beer commercials, the most interesting man in the world -Full of class and style and experience because despite many many trips around the sun, you’re still young at heart and body.

    And if  you’re not? – well, the amazing thing is all this stuff are things you can practice.    Mortality is how long you live, and I want you to live amazingly!

    KICK START or STARTUP

    So this can go two ways.   Either as a kick start and motivation during the year to improve, get younger and become multidimensional.  OR, as a start up – redo your life, reinvent yourself.

    Screw New Year’s resolutions, this isn’t that – this is about living.    Goals suck!

    Can’t do 28 pushups?  You can by the end of the year, that I’m sure.    

    A mile jog seems too daunting?   How about jogging 20 feet? Can you do that?   Could you add, lets say, 10 feet a day to your run you think?  

    You have gleaming golden boy abs but have 6-7 diet redbulls a day and haven’t seen  a leafy greens for three months?

     

    How about this guy?…I see you in the clinic every day… You can run a 5:00 mile but couldn’t fight your way out of wet paper bag and have anxiety thinking about the bar at the gym.

    I’m telling you all to get more well rounded because the science shows being extremely one dimensional gets you dead faster than you should.

    The strong meat heads and the marathoners both die too early.   

    For the unfit and pathetic, guess what, this is all negotiable -, you can practice and CHANGE.  Make yourself YOUNGER. Ponce DeLeon searched the Amercia’s for the fountain of youth while all the time having already internally possessed it!

    Mortality is a multispoked wheel y’all – Fitness, diet, sleep, luck, balance, stress and a few sprinkles of “extra’s added in”  

    TEST TIME

    So first, lets get some data, a baseline –

    Fitness   

    Fitness used to be cardo and strength… that’s so 1999

    I would now say fitness is best measures in a 4 prong stance

    You should have

    Cardio

    Strength

    Mobility

    Power or explosion

    Your workouts should reflect these 4 as well.

    Cardio

    Vo2 max – the gold standard of Oxygen utilization in exercise – It’s our first measurable because in nearly every “fitness study” over the last three decades it is their standard.

    Go ahead get it done at the gym if you want but this article is going to focus on the easy method.  Humans are built extremely well for running and are genetically set for running moderately fast for long periods.   God designed you for this.

    For ease and cost effectiveness just

    Run a mile.

    Time /  Age

    7:20 = 25 yrs

    7:40 = 35

    8:00 = 45

    8:40 = 55

    Greater than 8:40 = 65

    You called the fire department and pulled a DNF (did not finish)  = you don’t want to know.

    Ok first caveat:   But what if I have issues…knee problems, hip surgery, 100 pound belly’s,  lame doctors who have told you not to run again, that kind of stuff. What if you lost a leg in battle?   I get it, there are ALWAYS factors in play and that’s why this isn’t an article on why running mile is THE factor in measuring lifespan and health.  Really, I get it. My wife has no ACL’s.

    SO…either you score poorly and have to really amp the others things such as strength, diet, balance, stress and luck OR do what you can.    Could you run a mile to save your kids? Well? Could you. I never said anything about you becoming a runner and dedicating the weekends to 5K’s, I just suggested a mile as a baseline data point.   

    Strength

    – I write a lot about the need for strength as the human animal – you need this – there are so many great ways to measure strength.   My favorite and in the academic world as well as the NFL and USA track is the Force factor- you’ll want to check out the force factor used by Ryan Flaherty – he’s THE BEST in the world.  It’s the ratio of body weight to your hex bar deadlift max strength.

    Too much, yeah, I can see that – so lets substitute something easy.

    how about trying pushups – max out reps – one try.  This is what the Mayo clinic does and uses.  We’ll use this as well.

    Pushups  

    Reps   Age

    28   = 25 yrs

    21   = 35

    16   = 45

    12   = 55

    11   = 65

    Less than 11?    Dude..you should be able to do more than 11.  seriously , this is your wake up call. Fix this.

    Ok here, say you bombed this and really do suck.  Here’s what the boys and I are doing with pullups this year, you can use this non-science for yourself in the pushup arena.   

    We all have to do 10 pullups each day for the month of January.  If I can only currently do 2 then I have 5 sets of 2

    Please tell me you can do 5 sets of 2 pushups!  Throughout the day. It’s next to no effort.

    Through the month this will get easier until you can, in short time, do 3×3 plus one or 2×5.   Maybe by the end of the month you can do a whole unbroken set of 10.

    Now, for the next month you have 11 every day.  Add one rep each month, next year at this time you’ll have 22 pushups to do every day.   Dude! Next year at this time you’ll be a push up machine.

    Take the immediate results centered mind…the need to see tangible results right this second out of the equation and you have the ability to change EVERYTHING.   I’ve written before. In a year, I could move to a different country, learn a new language, dress differently and speak with an accent. I could grow a beard and change myself so much that in one year you wouldn’t recognize me if I bumped into you at Walmart.

    you can certainly change the number of pushups you can do!

    So back to strength – and Flaherty’s Force factor +

    Hex Bar  1.75 body weight is his ideal.   I weigh 210 that equals 368 lbs!   

    Mobility

    Over head squat is Kelly Starrett’s standard and I agree.  I really had to put in time and work at this. The Asian squat was impossible for me ten years ago.  I was traveling through India with my wife and friends and would watch the ‘old dudes’ squatted down instead of sitting and I couldn’t do it.   It was impossible. My ankles, hips, knee and back could not physically get into that position.

    So I fixed it.  You can too. This is what I’d ideally screen body’s with at my clinic but practically I can’t as 99% of Americans can’t do this.  Most can’t even “start” this position. But we need to, to live! C’mon, Billions of Asians are challenging you to do this right now!   

    But let’s get the upper body in this as well because, you know, shoulders are pretty important for our quality of life.

    Overhead squat 

    Grab a bar, broomstick or pvc pipe and hold it overhead, squat to parallel.the-overhead-squat_

    Can you do it?   

    Yes?  Age = 25

    Can you get to an asian squat? No bar = 35  asian squat

    Can you raise your hands up over your head until you arms are no longer visible in your peripheral vision?   =45

    Can you at least attempt an overhead squat and get, let’s say ½ way down? = 65

    Coordination

    I  like Get-Ups from Dr. Jordan Metzl –

    Get Ups:  lie on the ground face up – now get up.  Start with ten points for lying down and you lose 2 points for every extremity that touches the ground.   One hand = 2 points

    8-10 points = 25

    6 = 50

    4 = 60+

    Rolling over onto all fours and then building yourself back up – no good

    “I’ve fallen and Can’t get up?”   = One foot in the grave

    Balance

    Turkish get ups are truly the standard and I agree with Easter on this (He lists these in coordination) but they just take time to learn and explain.   Here’s what I use clinically and for all athletes that I see.

    Stand on one leg 30 sec (eyes closed) = 25 years old

    Eyes open but for 30 sec. = 45 years old

    There’s nothing else – you either can stand on one foot or you cannot.   You have to have this though or the science shows you will die in an accident more frequently than people that have balance.   If your older you may be concerned about falling and breaking a hip. “Balderdash!” I call, fix your balance so you’re not scared anymore.  Athletes!, Balance equals speed and speed wins everything! It’s one of the simplest things to change in your life right now with next to zero effort.   

    I tell all my athletes to make it a habit to brush their teeth while standing on one leg – for ever. Put a rubber band or a hair tie on your tooth brush as a reminder.  Do this for ever.

    Your chances of rolling and ankle, tweaking a knee and getting tackled 6 inches from the first down line all increase significantly if you can’t balance.

    I’m going to drop just a little neuroscience here though for a sec.  Make sure you ingrain balance on one foot with the eyes open for about 2 weeks before you get to eyes closed.   You’ll be able to “hack” eyes closed but it’s not the same result as burning the pathways using visual cues first.   

    Lifestyle

    Nutrition

    This may be tougher to measure age honestly because, let’s get real.  Adults eat and drink WAAAY better than youth. But metabolic age, longevity is what we’re rating so I’ll scale it.

    First of all, just get an idea about nutrition already.

    Old tired played out questions such as, salt is bad right?  Carbs are bad right? Should I put butter in my coffee. You need to just be better.   There is NOTHING simple and easy and one step in nutrition. However, It’s not hard either.

    Do you follow a named system?   

    Weight Watchers, Paleo, Keto, Primal, Intermittent Fasting etc?   And now be honest on how much you adhere to set system and if it really is decent food.   Questions such as?

    How many servings of veggies each day? #1 factor

    Sugars?  #2 factor – these are bad guys and are in EVERYTHING.

    Good Fats  my #3 even before high protein.

    Alcohol and cheating meals?   Just sayin’

    Nutrition as a category is way too deep and I have dozens of articles on this so I’m not going to go for 20 minutes, again here.   Check my links if interested.

    The diet scale:

    Diet is freaking squeaky clean perfect 6 days out of 7 every week and I have veggies at every single meal and alcohol is quite low in intake = age 25

    Diet is PERFECT at least 4 days in a row over and over again and I have no sugars = age 35

    Diet is basically a modified Adkins and super low in sugars = 45

    I’m trying to improve so have cut out sugars, but get confused in what has what in it?  = 55

    Dude, I’m busy = 65 (most common excuse used in 25-55 year olds however – hows that extra 40 years feel frat boy?)

    I’m past giving a shit = 70+

    See here’s the thing.   I’ve spent some major time in this whole “BeAwesome365” thing and actually dig pretty deep into research and new findings and the healthcare revolution.  Especially in the last 6 months. And here is what keeps showing up no matter what I’m researching. Speed, strength, sex, sleep, stress, fat loss, positive mind set, rashes, disease, relationships, humor, LIFE…. They all improve with your diet.

     Nutrition isn’t just important – it’s EVERYTHING.  

    If you don’t want to try all these aspects in the article this year – It’s just too much, change this ONE solitary factor and reap 80% of the benefits of a better life!

    All aspects of life improve and all aspects of sickness decrease with a perfect diet.    Perfect. Yes it’s hard at first and it’s hard to digest internally because I push about how fantastic life is and to take it all in.  Our brains have been fried by 30 years of advertisements and a new LOW BAR standard that we think a triple bacon cheese burger and fries is “good food”  and that’s our version of living life to the fullest. That’s bullshit. It just is. Eating crappy isn’t living fully, or on the wild side or even fun.  

    Hell, don’t tell me you get any endorphins waiting in line for 25 minutes at Chick Fil-A and on that point quit lying that a breaded chicken breast on a shitty bun and a lettuce leaf is healthy or even Healthier.   It’s crap. It’s convenient? That’s the excuse I use – it’s 830 pm and we’re just coming home from gymnastics, I need to get the kids something because i just don’t have time. BUT, the takeout line at Hunan express is still a 20 minute wait.  Pretty sure I could steam a little broccoli in that time but I don’t.

    And I hate to do this, I know 65 year old grandmothers are cringing right now, but let’s just ask the question we should… Is that happy meal for the kids or that 24 oz latte and scone combo “sugar bomb” really any better than just skipping the whole damn meal?  

    Yeah, we feel guilty if our kids don’t eat but seriously, are we doing our kids a favor?   I’m not suggesting your kids go to school hungry but I think the question of would a skipped meal be better for me or my kids compared to a McShitMeal is a valid debate.

    Ask the question in the drive thru line.  Heck, just look around at the other driver’s in the drive thru line!    Is this better parenting or convenience? Ask, What’s better for myself and my kids?  Is convenience the winning factor today? I’m not telling you how to live, just suggesting some new questions.     

    Our nutritional values have been duped to the point of us not even having common sense with our body’s fuel.

    This we can fix.

    Bonus points as nutrition done right makes you feel all warm and smug inside – like you have won the day.   And smug equals less stress and smiles which directly takes me to my next test.

    Stress –

    good and bad it’s still there and it’s real.  That it affects our lifespan is not up for debate.

    You have kids?

    Job?

    Is money a primary driving force in your life?

    This is tougher to put an “age factor”  to as we all have stresses in our lives at different times.   That super hot prom date was the real deal stress when you’re 17 ever bit as much as facing a bankruptcy is as an adult.   Stress is there – it makes us grow and evolve and adapt. OR it compounds and builds up and acts as a 100 pound burden on your shoulders.   

    Because of this I’m not going to go all out on stress and say you shouldn’t feel it.   Impossible and hypocritical. In the same effort, putting an age on stress is counterintuitive as most of the 80-100 year olds I talk to tell me that by the time they get to that age – the stressors in their lives have been shown to be mostly self induced bullshit.    The experience of seeing life and death, joy and tragedy..of having a spouse and often times kids die before them – of being in love and having and losing money and houses and pets and cars and LIFE, multiple times, have shown them what is truly important in life. What they had always attributed too much importance to and therefor added stress is now deemed entertainment.  The experience of life accumulated and the ability to see life from a different perspective have changed their expression, so in one way being older could be viewed as advantageous. But, money issues, health, family BS and fear of injury and death has their own twists I’m certain and the number we are shooting for in this article is about younger years (25 – 35) being more optimal for longevity so here goes.

    Scale of stress

    I feel challenged in a good way 300+ days a year = 25 years

    I feel like life is a mad rush but somehow exhilarating 300+ days a year = 35

    I’m a grinder, shit has got to be done and I’m the person for it =45

    I’ll never match up, something has GOT to change =55

    Or I’m on a roller coaster of feeling super happy and great one day and overwhelmed the next =55

    I’m depressed and unhappy =65

    Life is f’ing overwhelming and crushing =75

    Happiness

    Happy people live longer – here’s the problem, you’ve been led to believe you need to be 10/10 happy like a screaming locomotive every day and honestly 7/10 is really good (link)

    Happiness scale (at least 300 days/year)

    1-10 with 1 being miserable and ten being euphoric

    7/10 or better = 25

    7/10 = 35

    6/10 = 45

    5/10 or less = first off, what’s up with that? = 65

    The tricky part is do you really feel it or all you faking it, a mask of pseudo happiness is not real.

    Also, this article is about things you can improve.  This isn’t like pushups – but there are some tried and trued methods to improvement I’ve written on a lot. (see smiles article)

    #1 quick fix – accomplish something, no matter how small, we are hardwired for feeling a rush when we complete a task.

    Extra’s

    Love   (-5 to 10 years)

    Do you have love in your life?    Give Love? Receive Love? Good, look up the you tube plant video about love – crazy..

    Joy and Fulfillment

    When is the last time you got the “feel goods” while watching the sunrise?  I drive over an ocean every day, it’s fantastic – there are over 30 species of birds I’ll see most days.  If you were visiting in December from Fargo, you’d have your mind blown with my morning commute. But to me – it’s routine.  I rarely drink it in nor enjoy it and that’s a shame. Find small joy in small things. If you’re a runner and love running, just look at how amazing your feet are someday.   Smell a flower, watch a kid discover something, touch a rock. The easiest and simplest way I’ve practiced and used in my life to just blast a split second of joy in is to use your senses other than your eyes.    

    Sit down outside, close your eyes and go through your other senses.   Smell, hear, touch, and even taste. Did you taste your last meal? Not really, me either.  Let’s bring this back.

    Play more games

    Outside of family and work do you have at least 1 more “thing”  

    Team tennis league

    Gun club

    Pick up soccer or surfing

    Fishing

    Your garden

    See Jordan Peterson (12 rules of Life) talks about our life as games – as in, how are you doing in your family game?  How about the fame game? Work game? Health game?

    The example he uses in Chapter #4 is a great one:  You know the young guy in the company that just got that sweet promotion and is killing it in his professional career?   Your at least a little envious. He’s ahead of you in the career game and despite how he got there he’s winning. But what if his wife is cheating on him and his family life is falling apart?   While you come home and have a fantastic wife and amazing family. Is he then still ahead of you? How about your favorite superstar actor that is making millions and had even more millions of fans, the envy of even other Hollywood A listers – but he’s got a drug habit that’s killing his soul and now don’t even have a person he can truly call a friend.    He’s crushing the fame game but getting killed in the relationship game.

    Viewing aspect of life as games you’re involved in is actually about re-calibrating comparisons.  

    The idea is – there’s a lot of different games you play – the more you have the better balance, the better mean or average or whatever you want to view it as.    Play more games. In fact play more and compare less. The title of that chapter in Jordan’s book is, “Compare yourself to your yesterday self, not someone else.”    It’s all about perspective and the more things you do ie: the more games you play – the smoother the sailing.

    It’s too easy and devastatingly wrong to take one snippet, such as  “fame” or often “money made” and compare yourself to our neighbors and friends or even worse, to the World’s most elite.  Yet that’s what we do – we come up with this screwed and crappy version of “success” and then compare our self based on 1 aspect of this other person.   

    (-1 year for each game you’re winning at)

    There you go.    Your Adjusted Age – your Life AGE.   You have a year to improve this and drink in the benefits of a younger you, despite your birthday.

    This is your year to make yourself better, not by lame goals to get you through the first 3 weeks of 2019 and then back to your crappy routine –  but to have a reason…a “why” to seek out changes and live longer and better.

    My last piece of advice – I do much better if I have little daily snippets of a book or podcast.  Some sort of advice to keep my head in the game and motivate me to continually improve. It can be as simple as one paragraph in the morning.   

    Use this website

    Try out this book (aubrey Marcus) one of my favorite dailys

    Mark Manson is a fantastic podcast I like.   His motivated this site.

    Look at some of Tim Ferris’ stuff

    Call a friend you have not thought of for a while

    Use memes  – funny and often meaningful in exactly the sweet spot you need

    Cheers to 2019 Y’all – It’s a Celebration!